Shit fuck crap

Sometimes I wonder if maybe I have a mild form of Tourette Syndrome.

Donkey balls!

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Aimless
Aimless Video Evidence

One pizza myth (of many)

From some web site:

Step 5. Try spinning the dough in the air. This is certainly not required, but it's a lot of fun! It also helps to make the dough more round, as the centrifugal force causes equal amounts of pressure to be thrown out in all directions, helping the crust to form into a perfectly round shape.

This seems to make sense, but it's not entirely true. Having tossed thousands of dough balls, I can tell you with all certainty that perfectly round [hand-tossed] pizzas emerge only from perfectly round dough balls (unless you use a round template to trim the dough).

If you start with a round dough ball, you end up with a round pizza. But if you start with a square dough ball, you're gonna end up with a mostly square pizza, no matter how many times you toss it.

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Aimless
Aimless Video Evidence

February

For approximately exactly the last 21 days, when I've watched hockey games on a certain regional sports channel, I've noticed a series of public service announcements for Black History Month. In these "ads," a black man named Kendall Lewis tells a short story about one of many historically significant black athletes, like Jesse Owens, Jim Brown, or Jackie Robinson. When he finishes telling the short story, a voiceover kindly informs me that "McDonald's is a proud sponsor of Black History Month, celebrating black history 365 days a year."

So I'm sure you'll be airing more of these ads 9 days from now, right, McDonald's? Or maybe you'll be funding a neverending series of books on black history? Yes, that must be it.

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Aimless
Aimless Video Evidence

Some random stuff

For those of you who thought I'd given up on the pizzeria opportunity a few weeks ago, I hadn't. I gave it another chance. (The only way you would have known is if you'd read the comments to a previous post.) But as I said last night, I'm pretty sure it's all over now.

---

I've recently taken a new direction in my quest to make the perfect pizza. About two weeks ago, I created a naturally leavened starter (usually termed "sourdough" starter). To begin the starter, I simply mixed 4 ounces of water with 4 ounces of flour, adding no yeast or sugar and keeping the mixture covered loosely overnight. The following day I removed all but 4 ounces of the mixture, added another 4 ounces each of water and flour, then stirred the new mixture. Each of the next few days, I removed half of the mixture and added another 4 and 4.

After the first couple days, the mixture became slightly bubbly and had a somewhat "sour" smell (clearly indicating that it had aquired some wild yeast), but it essentially did not rise in the bowl. It behaved that way for a few more days, but on about the fifth or sixth day, it took off (probably because I placed it atop the oven while the oven was hot).

Oh yeah! Now we have some serious fermentation. At this point, the mixture had doubled in volume, contained lots of pretty bubbles, and had a strong smell of alcohol. With this sudden burst of wild yeast activity, I began feeding the starter twice each day. Early in the day I would remove all but 4 ounces of the starter and add 8 ounces of water and 8 ounces of flour. Then, sometime after midnight, I'd do it again.

For about the first week, I'd just dump the part of the mixture I'd removed, but at this point I was ready to start using it. So for about a week, now, I've been using 8 or 12 ounces of starter every time I make pizza dough. Because the starter is always a 1:1 ratio of water and flour (by weight), I know exactly how much water and flour to add whenever I make a new batch of dough. For example: If I begin with 12 ounces of starter, I need to add another 10 ounces of flour and another 3 ounces of water for a moderately soft dough. But if I begin with only 8 ounces of starter, I need to add an additional 2 ounces of both flour and water (12 ounces of flour and 5 ounces of water). Regardless of how much starter I use, I'll almost always add 1-1/4 tsp of salt.

There are two reasons why this process is so easy: 1) Every batch of dough I make is based on 1 pound (or 16 oz.) of flour; and 2) I forgot the second reason... Measuring ingredients by weight (rather than volume) makes everything 100 times easier and more consistent. (The only reason I measure salt by volume is because I don't use enough salt to get an accurate measurement of weight. If I was making a pizzeria-size batch, I would measure everything by weight.)

Now that I'm using this starter to leaven my pizza dough, my dough consists of only three ingredients: flour, water, and salt. No yeast, no sugar, no oil.

Is that cool or what? (If you're not sure: Yes, it is cool.)

Now that my starter is thriving, I keep it in the fridge (rather than on the counter). By keeping my starter in the fridge, I don't have to feed it every day (because cool temperatures retard fermentation). Instead, I only need to feed the starter once a week. However, because I make a new batch of dough every two or three days, naturally I feed it about every three days.

You should try it.

---

Well, I was going to mention a couple other things here (like what you asked about, Jeff), but I think I'll just call it a day for now.

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Aimless
Aimless Video Evidence

All things stupid

Yeah, uh, it looks like the pizzeria opportunity is no more. And I'll tell ya what: I don't care. In fact, it was me who ended the talks, sorta. I really wanted to work something out, but someone's girlfriend was unwilling to make a really small concession that would have made the rest of her life a lot easier.

Like "Someone's Girlfriend," 90 percent of small business owners base their business decisions on hope and faith. (The other ten percent actually succeed.) There are a lot of people out there who fancy themselves as businesspeople, yet don't know the first thing about business. It's funny, sad, and disappointing all at the same time. Unlike most small business owners, I'm not stupid enough to accept a deal that puts me in a no-win situation.

So it looks like I'll be hitting the road again soon, but not for at least a few weeks because I have over ten pounds of Grande mozzarella in the fridge right now that I'm not going to waste or freeze. Whenever I do leave again, I don't know if it will be Aimless or if it will just be my personal, private escape from all things stupid.

Aimless is the one thing on this planet that's all mine, and I might just keep it that way.

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Aimless
Aimless Video Evidence

Regarding Florida

"John Doe" from Florida e-mailed me this morning with the following message:

i'd just wanted to say that i graduated from a florida high school and the people that were useless, alcoholic, slackers with no morals whatsoever, never attempted anything in their life, are the ones who are the police officers. i dont know how this happened. the police system in florida is terrible, racist, and overall not kosher. i'm sorry you had to deal with that and hope that your later travels to florida aren't so terrible. there are some good people...i promise! (just avoid confederate flag bumper stickers)

"John" did not include his e-mail address on the contact form, so I decided to respond here.

John,

I know there are lots of good people in Florida. I just had a frustratingly tough time while I was there. I'm glad you realize I have not judged all Floridians based on the actions of a few.

There is a lot more I want to say here, but I can't seem to spit it out right now. Thanks for your feedback.

Ryan

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Aimless
Aimless Video Evidence

Jersey boy

If things work out right, I'm going to hang out tonight with someone I met on the road last summer. I've mentioned Jason Stanish at least once before on this blog, and I also uploaded a [bad] picture of him shortly after I met him in early July at the Madison, Wisconsin TA. As a company driver, he couldn't give me a ride, but he did let me sleep in his top bunk (even though he's not allowed to do that, either).

Anyway, Jason called me a little after noon today from somewhere north of Atlanta. He's bringing a load to Columbus and should be here sometime this evening, as long as he's able to stay legal. (I figure he's probably at about the Tennessee-Kentucky state line right now.) The cool thing is that his company has a terminal right down the street from what used to be my longtime hangout bar/restaurant. (I rarely hang out or drink anymore.) It's about a 15-minute drive for me.

If he makes it all the way to Columbus, I'll probably invite Jason to stay at the house tonight. I want to make him a pizza, partly because I've been making the most incredible pizzas lately but also because I'd love to hear what New Jersey taste buds have to say about my pizza. (Like New York, there is good pizza in New Jersey, so Jason might have some useful feedback about my pizza.)

In case you're wondering: Yes, Jason does think I'm an ungrateful piece of shit.

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Aimless
Aimless Video Evidence

New York state of mind

Here are a couple reasons why I love New York City: 1) New Yorkers actually walk, read, and think; 2) The major pizza chains have been almost completely unable to set up shop in Metropolis.

So why are the Big 3 pizza chains so invisible in NYC? Because New Yorkers aren't mindless consumers. (Remember, they read and think.) Most New Yorkers can't even comprehend how the rest of the country bears to swallow Pizza Hut, Domino's, and Papa John's.

Oh, so New Yorkers are stupid because they can't comprehend anything, right?

No way. If you can't figure out why chain pizza blows, maybe you should schedule a trip to New York. It's the only place I'll actually pay for pizza.

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Aimless
Aimless Video Evidence
You can contact me at 614-738-3867.

Thooper!

Wow, what a game!

I've been kinda rooting for the Giants during the playoffs, mostly because they played the Patriots so close in Game 16 after the Patriots destroyed everyone else on their schedule. And with Tom Brady's arrogant response to Plaxico Burress's prediction several days ago, I couldn't help but root for the Giants tonight, too. (Yeah, Brady, the Giants had no chance to hold you to only 17 points, did they? Yet they only scored 17 points and still beat you. Ha Ha.)

Way to go, Giants. Great game.

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Aimless
Aimless Video Evidence
You can contact me at 614-738-3867.

Nightmares

A few nights ago my buddy Jeff called me. As we talked about food and restaurants, he mentioned a BBC show called Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares. The title sounded familiar to me, but I had no idea what the show was about.

After Jeff described Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares to me, it reminded me of a show I used to watch on Food Network called Restaurant Makeover. Here are the basic premises of Restaurant Makeover:

1. Independent restaurateur realizes he or she is in deep shit, so he or she contacts Restaurant Makeover, begging for help.
2. Restaurant Makeover sends a chef and a designer to the failing restaurant (along with a camera crew) to assess the situation.
3. Following assessment and consultation, the restaurateur decides how much money he or she is willing to invest in the makeover, then Restaurant Makeover matches the owner's investment up to a maximum of something like $20,000. (If the owner contributes $15,000 to the project, then Restaurant Makeover puts in another $15,000. But if the owner contributes $30,000, Restaurant Makeover tops out at $20,000. Something like that, anyway.)

Yeah, Food Network used to not suck.

Anyway, since Jeff told me about Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares, I've managed to catch four episodes, and I love it! The premise of Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares is as follows: You and your restaurant are in deep shit, so you called me, Gordon Ramsay, a proven successful chef and businessman, to come here and work my magic because you realize that 1) You're losing your ass, and 2) I know how to save your ass.

Although it is kind of similar to Restaurant Makeover, it has plenty of differences. First of all, it's an hour long (rather than half an hour). Second, the star (Chef Gordon Ramsay) is a filthy-mouthed, no-bullshit motherfucker. Sometimes his communication style is a little too, um, let's say, uh, sometimes he's a real asshole for no apparent reason. But mostly he's honest, straightforward, and reasonable. He's there to fix a problem, and fixing that problem is his only objective.

In every episode I've seen so far, Gordon Ramsay proves that independent restaurant owners tend to be the stupidest people on this planet. Everything he says makes complete sense, but even though the owners know they're doing something horribly wrong--even though they're about to lose everything--most of the owners become combative and refuse to follow Gordon's advice. Some of the owners eventually overpower their huge egos enough to follow Gordon's advice, but some of them don't.

And you know what ultimately happens to each group, respectively? Yup, the listeners win and the non-listeners lose.

I tried doing something kind of like what Gordon Ramsay does. I've offered my services to several failing pizzerias, essentially for free, in an effort to help them turn their huge failure into success, partly because I like helping people and partly because it was an opportunity for me to prove that my skills, talents, and intellect are pretty freakin' valuable.

As you may already know, I never got shit from it, nor did I ever get a chance to prove anything about myself. All I got was ripped off.

For example, when I went to Charleston, South Carolina, thinking I'd finally found the right opportunity, I quickly learned that I was dealing with the two stupidest people alive. (I can only blame myself for failing to recognize this side of their personalities before heading to SC.) After busting my ass for them, usually off the clock, and sharing very valuable ideas with them, all they did was attack me. Like Gordon Ramsay, I cared more about their restaurant than they did. Even though I made it very clear from the beginning that my objective was to fix things that needed fixed, they apparently expected me to perpetuate a process that generates $200 a day in sales.

Some people just don't get it. $200 a day is not good. $200 a day barely pays for the cost of sales. Forget about paying for labor and utilities and all that other stuff (like the elusive "owner's salary"). You simply can't do it.

If you only bring in $200 a day, it's because you're doing something VERY wrong. If you want that to change, you must stop doing things wrong and start doing things right. If you can't figure out what you're doing wrong but you are lucky enough to find someone who can figure it out, don't fuck that person over.

I didn't fail Sonny's Pizza. Sonny's Pizza failed themselves. When you refuse to allow people to help you, you cannot be helped. I learned from it; they didn't.

Sonny's Pizza no longer exists. (I never got paid for my time on the clock, either.)

(Oh, I'm just dying to find out how and why this post makes me ungrateful and negative. So hit me, anonymouses.)

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Aimless
Aimless Video Evidence
You can contact me at 614-738-3867.

So much for that "opportunity"

Well, I don't see the pizzeria thing happening. I most certainly want to do it, but apparently my only location option would be the second floor, above the bar/club.

A second-floor location may not seem like a big deal to you, but it's a killer. First of all, it would add at least two minutes to every delivery run that leaves the building (round trip). That is, every time a driver leaves the building, he would be slowed down by the elevator on his way out, then again on his way back into the store.

Oh, two minutes is nothing, you may be thinking.

Wrong!

Under those circumstances, if one driver leaves the building ten times during a shift, that adds up to a minimum of 20 completely nonproductive minutes from EVERY DRIVER during EVERY SHIFT. There's nothing I can do to fix that. NOTHING! So to make up for that inefficiency, I'd often have to schedule an extra driver, which comes out of my paycheck.

Meanwhile, after each night's shift, every driver thinks to himself: "Man, if I didn't have to jump all those hurdles between the kitchen and my car, I could have left the building at least one more time tonight, delivering 2 or 3 additional orders, which would have added another $5 or $10 to my pocket with no extra effort. Hell, even if I was making that extra $5 or $10, I'm still totally sick of jumping through all the hoops... Hmmm... I wouldn't have to deal with these constant obstacles if I worked at Pizza Hut or Papa John's... Sorry dude, I gotta quit."

So if I want to keep my drivers, I need to pay them better, even though I'd probably already be paying them better than my competition pays their drivers.

Where does that money come from? It comes from my paycheck.

Quick recap: Having a location on the second floor forces me to schedule more labor than I should need, and it also forces me to pay all my drivers unusually high wages.

So what about the customers?

There most certainly will be times when the "second-floor slowdown" causes delivery orders to arrive ONE MINUTE later than what the customer considers acceptable. And every time that happens, there are two possible outcomes: 1) I lose a customer, or 2) I make a huge sacrifice to keep that customer happy. In that circumstance, I'd probably be more inclined to chop off a big chunk of the price, but if necessary, I'd make it a freebie.

My response to that situation may save a customer, but it still costs me money that I shouldn't have to give up. And I can't blame my driver or anyone else. The only person I can blame is myself because I made the choice to open a pizzeria in the stupidest possible location.

And that is just one of many money-munching setbacks I'll have to deal with every single day if I choose to open a pizzeria on the second floor of this building.

---

The bar owner wants to include "southern-style" cuisine to accompany the alcohol and live music (music on weekends, anyway). However, to the best of my knowledge, he knows as much as I know about southern-style food: Nothing.

So how do you serve southern-style food if you don't know anything about southern-style food? And do beer-drinking, live-blues-music-listening customers even want southern-style food? I'd say probably not. It's not a restaurant with a bar; it's a live music club with a kitchen.

If I knew anything about southern-style food, I'd love to help him in that department, but I don't know shit about southern-style food. I am simply not the right guy for that, nor do I expect him to find "the right guy" for that. However, I am one of very few people who really understands what it takes to operate a successful independent pizzeria. No bullshit. Not just a successful pizzeria, but the most successful pizzeria. The kind of pizzeria that will bring people into his bar to buy beer, which is especially relevant if live music and sports fail to do it alone.

I'm pretty sure I could operate a profitable pizzeria on the second floor of this place, but I would be absolutely stupid to even try. Regardless of location, I'm already prepared to bust my ass at least 80 hours a week in "my" pizzeria. But if I was on the second floor of this building (or any other building), that 80-hour workweek instantly becomes 100, probably more. That's an absolute waste of money and energy, and I won't do it.

Ah, but my dad thinks this is the right opportunity. No, dad, it could be the right opportunity, given the right circumstances, but it is absolutely not the right opportunity with the current circumstances.

Y'see, Dad, you already walked away from the right opportunity two years ago. And if I change my mind and decide I want to open something on the second floor this time (which would be totally retarded), you'll end up walking away from this one, too.

I'm never going to be able to do what I can do better than almost everyone.

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Aimless
Aimless Video Evidence
You can contact me at 614-738-3867.

You make the call

I have a very important question for everyone: When you hear the term "southern-style food," what comes to your mind? --> What kinds of entrees and sides? How is the food seasoned? Whatever you can think of. Just tell me what "southern-style food" is to you.

Thanks.

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Aimless
Aimless Video Evidence
You can contact me at 614-738-3867.

Cock rock

As I drove to and from Germantown (near Dayton) yesterday, I heard a couple songs on the radio that really caught my attention. The first one stood out for a few reasons. However, having just looked up the song's lyrics, I've concluded I must have misinterpreted it when I heard it, so I'll say nothing more about it here.

(Wow, you missed a great inaccurate critique.)

The other song played as I passed through downtown Dayton on the way home. It's a song I've probably heard at least a few times before, but for some reason it really stuck out this time.

It was a Nickelback song. It went something like this:

Boy I shor do like havin my cock sucked
Oh yeah I shor do like havin my cock sucked, baby
I want the world to know I shor do like havin my cock SAAAHHCKED,
YEAH YEAH YEAH

And I'll tell y'all right now in this fake-ass deep voice
That I'm a man, yeah, I'm a MAAAAAY-AAAAAAAWN
And I'll have you know that I don't put no cocks in my mouth
I ain't no closet homo, BAY-BAAAAAAH
No, I get MY cocked sucked, yeah yeah yeah
By women, yeah yeah yeah

Suck my cock, oh yeah, suck my cock,
Cuz I do love it when you, who are female, suck my cock

(Repeat and fade)

When that song was over, they played another Nickelback song. I swear it was the same freak-uckin' song, except it didn't sound exactly the same and about three of the words were different. The second song went something like: "I like your pants around your feet and I'm certainly not a queer and don't you EVER try to imply that I take it up the ass ever again cuz I'm Nickelback, BAY-BAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!"

Do people actually buy this stuff?!? Obviously they buy the albums, but do they buy into the ridiculous tough-guy crap?

Is our society really this stupid?

This is a perfect example of why Idiocracy is one of the most brilliant movies ever made. If you have not seen Idiocracy, go rent it now or come over to my house because I recorded it on the new DVR a couple nights ago.

How old are you, Nickelback? My guess is 12.

Guess what, Nickelback. Pretty much all men enjoy having their cocks sucked by women. However, most of us don't have to tell the world over and over and over just how frequently we think about pussy. In case you missed the article in the Penthouse you stole from your dad's drawer (to make him believe you're into chicks), it's been pretty well established that heterosexual men think about pussy non-stop, OK. You're not special. Constantly thinking about pussy is what keeps our species alive.

In fact, I think about pussy so much, it has taken me 15 hours to write this post. But that's the last you'll hear me talk about how frequently I think about pussy (which I do all the time, by the way) because I don't need to prove to myself or anyone else that I'm a man.

Right?

I'm gonna shut up now because I have to think about pussy for a while.

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Aimless
Aimless Video Evidence
You can contact me at 614-738-3867.

Correspondence, Part II

Aimless Web Site Visitor wrote:

Thank You for taking the time to answer my questions. I would like to do something similar to what you have done in the past, with a few minor variations. One is use of a bike for greater mobility. This would allow me to use country roads versus interstates. Another problem I want to avoid is police encounter. It only takes one cop with an attitude to destroy your dreams. You were very lucky in Naples. Could you imagine what would happen if you were arrested for beating that person?

With my military background, I know how to survive off the land. Going hungry is not a big concern. I do not have a drug or drinking problem, so my dependency on town support is reduced. I just want my freedom. Without our freedom, we become puppets of the government.

How often did you take showers or a bath? Where did you take them? Keeping clean is a big concern of mine. I do not want to stand out in a crowd because of my appearance. What are your plans in the future? Are you going to hit the road or go to work with your relatives?

Again Thank You for your response. Hope to hear from you in the near future.

Aimless Web Site Visitor

---

And I replied:

That's cool, man. It sounds like you're planning to hit the road with essentially no money and no access to money. Does that sound right? I think that's the way to do it, even if you have plenty of money in the bank. My travels just wouldn't have been the same if I had hit the road with a big wad of cash and a credit card. In fact, I think it would have been mostly stupid, boring, and pointless.

Apparently you watched the cop encounter video. It sounds like you, as a viewer, felt like I faced potential danger from those cops. Is that how you saw it? It's hard for me to see it from the perspective of someone who wasn't there, but I never felt like I was in any kind of danger. Those guys were cool, especially the one I joked with. They were just doing their job, making sure I wasn't a perp making a run for it.

I'm squeaky clean, so I never feel like I have anything to worry about with cops. Even on the rare occasions that cops have fucked with me, I haven't felt any kind of real danger. In fact, I've been a total smart-ass with a couple of them because I know my rights and I know their limits. Bad cops only fuck with people they assume are idiots. As soon as they realize they're dealing with someone with a brain, they take off. From a distance, I fit their profile of an easy target: a drug addict or alcoholic or general loser. But when I speak (or reach for my camera), they figure out pretty quickly that they've made a poor assessment of my character, and they take off ASAP. Bad cops prey on easy targets, but they know there will be hell to pay if they fuck with the wrong person.

If there is one thing I want to you remember, it's this: You really don't need to fear cops, man, especially if you are the kind of person I envision. The bike is a big bonus for you, too. It'll give you "cred" with people, just like my decent-quality gear gives me "cred" in certain people's eyes. Even if you're out there "bumming" or tramping, the bike will give you the appearance of legitimacy/respectability. And the articulation of your communication will also protect you from predators (like bad cops) and judgmental assholes in general. Seriously, if you have nothing to hide, you'll have no problem with cops. (Plus you have no reason to hang out beside on-ramps, which seriously decreases the likelihood that you'll deal with cops at all.)

Regarding bathing:

On average I probably showered about once a week. I think the longest I went between showers was 14 days. It's not as horrible as it may sound, though. Y'see, after about a week of constant sweating and rehydration, you will have flushed out all the crap inside you that makes you stink and feel nasty. I smelled horrible after the first four days and I expected to smell horrible pretty much all the time, but after that first week or so, I could go days and days without a shower and I wouldn't stink. No bullshit. I mean, I could be a week beyond my most recent shower and I seriously would not have to worry about stinking up someone's car, because I didn't stink. It kind of freaked me out at first when I stopped stinking.

After my first week on the road, the only real hygiene issue I had was with my hair. (You may have noticed I have a lot of it.) Whenever I hadn't showered for several days, my hair would get kind of greasy and my head would start to itch. Even then, it wasn't very bad. If you have short hair or no hair, it should be very easy to keep yourself presentable.

Also, I keep a nice supply of Wet Ones or other wet wipes in my backpack. I prefer them over sanitizing gel for washing my hands because sanitizing gel leaves a strong, annoying smell. But wet wipes are also an awesome tool for keeping up hygiene when you can't get a shower. It's this simple: If you keep your armpits reasonably fresh, then you've pretty much won the hygiene battle. And you can slay both pits with just one wet wipe.

Eventually, however, you stop caring about petty things like whether or not you feel absolutely fresh. Staying alive and experiencing life is more important. Your perspective on a lot of things will change, I think for the better. You mentioned freedom... When you haven't had a shower in a week and you don't give a shit, that's freedom. One component of freedom, anyway.

To finish answering your question... Oh shit, I'm not sure I can answer it fully. Where did I get my showers? I guess usually I'd get showers when people would invite me into their homes for a night or two. Once I took a "shower" on the beach right beside the Santa Monica Pier. When you're on the road like I was, all you have to do is talk to people. And you really don't even have to do that because they'll initiate conversation with you. Your aura and your gear tells quite a story all by itself, but a lot of people want to know more about your story than they can figure out just by looking at you. So they'll ask you, and they'll listen in awe as you tell them your incredible and unique story. Some of them will ask you if you need money or food. Then, even after you've told them you don't need money or food, they'll slip you a 20 or take you somewhere for a nice meal. Others will damn near force you to stay a night or two in their home.

On the truck stop circuit, showers are easy. Truckers get one free shower for every 50 gallons of fuel they purchase. (I think most truckers burn about 200 gallons every day.) In other words, they all have more showers on their frequent fueler account than they will ever need. I think Flying J's shower system is easier than the other kinds of truck stop because it's all done through a kiosk, out of sight from most of the employees. So if you really need a shower and you see a truck stop (especially a Flying J), just go to the driver lounge and ask a few truckers if they can spare a shower. The exact terminology will vary from truck stop to truck stop. At Flying J, say something like, "By any chance do you have an extra shower on your card?" ("On your card" is the operative phrase with Flying J.) If that doesn't work, it never hurts to ask the people working there. Some of them will happily set you up with a shower.

Truckers, in general, are pretty good guys (although many of them are major assholes). A lot of them will go out of their way to help someone in need. Even the assholes will do nice things for the "right" people. (Let's just say my white skin sometimes equals "cred" at truck stops.) It really bothers me when truckers treat me kindly while at the same time spewing hateful rhetoric about "niggers" and "wetbacks" and whatnot, as if it's understood that I share their views just because I'm white. Well, I don't share their views.

Regarding my future with Aimless: I expected to be gone a day or two ago, but now things are on hold indefinitely. Man, there is nothing I want more than to operate my own pizzeria, but now that such an opportunity may be on the horizon, all I want to do is get back on the road and resume my life as a bum with a camera, even though I know it'll probably never make me any money. I have a lot of thinking to do right now.

Oh yeah, check out this blog. I met James in South Carolina. He passed me on his bike as he pedaled from New Jersey to Cape Canaveral. We talked a while, then he let me stay in his motel room that night. James is an awesome guy. I can't find his e-mail address right now, but I'm sure I have it somewhere, in case you want to contact him. He'd probably be glad to share some of his insight with you, regarding touring the country on a bike.

One more thing to consider: My lack of mobility often created the best moments of my six months on the road. When you're walking instead of driving (or biking), you see everything and you have a chance to take it all in. Like when I walked up the Pacific Coast Highway from Venice to Ventura. During that walk I witnessed my first and only live rattlesnake in the wild, only because I heard it moving. I most certainly would not have seen the snake if I'd been driving, and I probably would not have seen it if I'd been on a bike. The scenery, too. There's just so much sensory information to experience in places like the PCH. I'm just saying you might want to think about finding a place to store your bike every once in while, then hoofing it a little.

(Jeez, you're helping me write a book here. Rock on!)

Ryan

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Aimless
Aimless Video Evidence
You can contact me at 614-738-3867.

Correspondence

Yesterday I received an Aimless-related e-mail from a guy named "Aimless Web Site Visitor." A simple message, he asked, "How many police encounters did you have? Could you have avoided them? How did you survive?"

I wrote a reasonably long response to Aimless Web Site Visitor last night and received a response from him this morning, to which I recently provided another long response. After thinking about it for a minute, I figured my responses to Aimless Web Site Visitor might be interesting to a few other people out there, so here is my response to Aimless Web Site Visitor's original message:

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Hi Aimless Web Site Visitor,

First off, I want to thank you for showing interest in Aimless. I've put an unbelieveable amount of work into it so far, so I really appreciate when people take the time to ask questions or just comment about things.

To answer your questions:

I've had LOTS and LOTS of police encounters. I really have no idea how many, but I'd guess at least 100; probably more. Don't get the wrong idea, though; they are almost always very cool with me.

Most of the encounters occur beside on-ramps, when I'm trying to get a ride on an interstate. Sometimes cops will stop just to check out what I'm doing and to make sure I'm not running from the law or anything. Other times they stop to tell me I can't be beyond the 'No Pedestrians' sign. Every once in a LONG while, though, a cop will harass me (or "fuck with" me), probably to demonstrate his perceived power over someone he assumes is a worthless bum. But that almost never happens.

Probably the second most common type of encounter occurs in the mornings, when the sun is up and so is my tent. Early on in my travels, whenever I couldn't find a nice hidden spot to set up camp, I'd find spots where I was pretty much invisible at night but very visible in the morning. To avoid any trouble, I would force myself to get up very early and be gone before anyone had a chance to see me. After a while, though, I realized whenever someone spotted my tent in the morning, the worst thing that happened is a cop would show up and respectfully tell me to scram. Consequently, I stopped forcing myself to get up at 6:00. After I stopped worrying about it, I found that usually no one bothers me, anyway, even if I am somewhere really obvious. A few times the cops have shown up outside my tent, asked me what I was doing there, and ended up telling me I didn't have to leave.

Again, almost all cops are very cool to me. I have nothing to hide from them, and I think they tend to figure that out pretty quickly. But most of them drive right past me, anyway.

I suppose I could have avoided cops by staying away from interstate on-ramps. But usually when I choose to hitchhike by an on-ramp, it's because I don't have any other options. Whenever I'm trying to get somewhere specific and distant, I prefer to walk along the road that goes there. In those cases, usually someone will stop and offer a ride before too long. But sometimes the only road available is an interstate, so I just have to stand and wait.

Also, I have never put up my thumb to indicate I am hitchhiking. I like to think my objective is usually pretty obvious. Plus, as I learned from a Lake Mary Police officer: If my thumb is not up, the law says I'm not hitchhiking. So I can stand right beside a 'No Hitchhiking' sign and do my thing for as long as I want. They could probably get me for loitering or something, but most cops realize there's really no point.

How did I survive? I'm guessing you mean in terms of money, right?

I never ask people for money (or anything else, for that matter). But there are some really awesome, caring people out there. Usually whenever I'm out of money and food, it somehow comes to me. Some people slip me bills because they think what I'm doing is cool. Others seem to sense when I'm in need. Sometimes I go hungry for a few days. That kind of drought is rare, but it happens.

Also, there have been a couple times when I was able to work for some cash. In Florida I helped someone paint a house. And I helped a trucker unload his truck in Phoenix and LA. I have no problem working to make some cash when I'm on the road, but the opportunity rarely presents itself. (Actually, it would probably be pretty easy for me to get work lumping for truckers, but usually when I'm with truckers it's because I'm trying to get a long way in a short time.)

There have been a couple occasions when I have flown signs saying something to the effect of: "Please help a hungry traveler get some food." Yeah, I know I just said I never ask for money, and it's almost entirely true. Even though I know people will help if you only ask, it's very hard for me to beg. However, when you haven't eaten for a couple days, something motivates you to find a piece of cardboard and beg beg beg, no matter how uncomfortable it seems.

Hey, I hope that answers your questions. I could probably elaborate on some of it. If you have any other questions, feel free to ask.

Thanks again,
Ryan

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I'll post his response and my response to his response later or tomorrow.

By the way, I met with Mike last night about the pizza stuff. Mike's a good guy; a no-bullshit kind of guy. He already owns the building and has some pretty clear plans for his bar. I'd say the prognosis looks good, but damn I wish I could just postpone my involvement until next fall (instead of, say, right now). I really want to hit the road right now, just to be on the road. I really miss being on the road, even the constant hunger and other shitty parts of it.

Well, we'll see how it goes.

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Aimless
Aimless Video Evidence
You can contact me at 614-738-3867.

One pretty goal

If you have not seen the goal Rick Nash scored Thursday night in Phoenix, you really need to watch the video below. It's way better on an HD TV, but this tiny clip is pretty good, too.

Context: The Blue Jackets led 3-2 with a little over 2 minutes remaining in the 3rd period when Nash went to the penalty box for high-sticking. In a do-or-die situation, Phoenix pulled the goalie to create a 6 on 4, then scored with about 1:30 remaining, tying the game at 3-3. As the clock wound down under a minute, it appeared that overtime was imminent. But with 30 seconds left in the period, Nash caused Phoenix to make an errant pass and...



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Aimless
Aimless Video Evidence
You can contact me at 614-738-3867.

Wolf-crying ping pong ball

That's me. I'm a wolf-crying ping pong ball. Something like that, anyway. Let me explain.

Monday night my dad gave me 24 hours to get the fuck out of his house, which I obviously disregarded...

[Non-sequitur moment coming up. Now flash forward to this morning.]

This morning, with me only hours from hitting the road forever, sans parental goodbye, I found a printout of an e-mail placed strategically atop my toilet. It said something about my uncle's buddy Mike and how he's going to open a bar/restaurant in Dayton. It also said something about pizza and me, but I didn't read it for any longer than it took me to piss.

So I go downstairs and drink a glass of water. My dad, who I've mostly avoided since Christmas, asks me if I'd read the printed e-mail. In a move that surprised me, I actually answered him, instead of just going to another room without a word.

I answered, "No," and quickly went to another room.

A moment later he came into the living room and started telling me about how he and Mom have been considering teaming up with my uncle's friend Mike, and that this might be my chance to enter the pizza business.

I didn't want to hear it. I've heard it all before. So many times they have built me up and made me believe they're my serious allies. Each time, believing they're serious about it, I've proceded to put my heart and soul into writing business plans and marketing plans, designing logos, creating accurate financial statement projections, and doing all the things you need to do when planning to open a SUCCESSFUL pizzeria. (A few of them actually exist.) But every time it gets to the point where they have to make a serious decision, they've always ended up chicken-shitting out. Basically it's been like them crying 'Wolf.'

Now, I love roller coasters, but I don't like this roller coaster kind of life. I don't like being a fucking ping pong ball.

I no longer trust my parents. Whenever they cry 'Wolf' now, I don't believe them; I ignore them.

Is the wolf really there this time? I don't know. It sounds like this might be a good opportunity, but so did all the other opportunities, at least until my parents just walked away from them, leaving me with metaphoric blue balls each time.

Anyway, I don't like the timing of this. I wanted leave right freaking now, but I don't want to just walk away from what MIGHT be the best opportunity I've ever had to begin a real life.

I have a lot of thinking to do right now.

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Aimless
Aimless Video Evidence
You can contact me at 614-738-3867.

Did ya catch it?

I suspect some readers may be unaware that I uploaded a new video the other day, mostly because the newest video's title is very similar to the previous video's title. Just wanted to let you know, in case you didn't catch it. Also, for those of you who cannot watch QuickTime movies, all Aimless videos (except the blog exclusive, which I just remembered) are now on YouTube. (My YouTube profile.)

I've only been able to watch a couple of the YouTube videos so far, so I don't know if they all survived YouTube's processing. From what I've seen, though, they appear to be in decent shape. Still, I prefer that people watch the QuickTime movies, if possible.

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Aimless
Aimless Video Evidence
You can contact me at 614-738-3867.

Word explosion

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Attention: Before reading this post, read this post, unless you have already read it. In that case, do whatever you want.

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OK, now that you've read the other post, let me continue...

Direction for the Aimless One
I had an idea today. (Actually I had lots of ideas today.)

I would like to offer my services to people who need to transport automobiles to various parts of the United States. It could be a good way for me to make some money (which I desperately need just so I can get some of the most basic gear and clothing). Also, it could help keep this Aimless thing fresh by constantly changing the scenery. To the best of my knowledge, most of the prospective clients would be snowbirds moving to and from warm climates.

If you're thinking, "Yeah, right. No one pays people to relocate their car from one region to another," stop thinking that. I've met people who do it for a living and I've met people who have done it as a one-time thing. For example, the girl who gave me a ride from Eugene to Bend decided to stay in Oregon after driving someone else's car to the Pacific Northwest from the east coast.

Anyway, the opportunity exists, especially with the snowbirds heading back home in the coming months. It could be a really great opportunity for me. Here's why:

1. I am a very safe driver with a very good driving record;
2. My schedule is totally flexible;
3. As things stand right now, I NEVER need to be anywhere specific, so the cars' owners would usually not have to pay the costs of getting me to the pick-up point and back home from the delivery point;
4. I could offer to do it for a lot less money than the people who do it for a living, yet it would still be like hitting the jackpot for the Aimless version of me.

There are probably some other good reasons, but I'm too sleep deprived to think of them right now.

The problem is: I don't have time right now to put out the word. So I ask for your help. If anyone can put out the word for me, I'd happily pay you a percentage of what I make from jobs you get me. My immediate thought would be something in the neighborhood of 25%, but I haven't given it any real thought yet.

Basically all I'm hoping is that someone will post ads for me on specific web sites--like Craig's List, I guess--where car owners might look to find vehicle transporters. I just can't do it myself right now. I wouldn't even know where to start.

I don't really expect anything to materialize from this idea, but it would certainly be awesome if y'all could help me try.

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On the Road
My brother and his wife gave me a copy of On the Road for Christmas. I've already tried reading that book a couple times over the last fifteen years, but each time I couldn't make it past about halfway through because it just became boring. Doesn't sound right, does it: Aimless Ryan bored by On the Road? It should be one of the major inspirations for something like Aimless, right?

Well, not so. Not even a bit.

Anyway, I decided to start reading my new copy today at Dino's in Yellow Springs, and some things stood out. (Did I catch ya with the 'Yellow Springs,' Jafabrit?) These things stood out to Aimless Ryan, but never would have stood out to 1995 Ryan.

Early in the book, only a few days into the protagonist Sal's hitchhiking career, he gets a ride with a trucker. He describes the driver: "...a great big tough truckdriver with popping eyes and a hoarse raspy voice who just slammed and kicked at everything and got his rig under way and paid hardly any attention to me."

But it was what he says next that really caught my attention.

So I could rest my tired soul a little, for one of the biggest troubles hitchhiking is having to talk to innumerable people, make them feel that they didn't make a mistake picking you up, even entertain them almost, all of which is a great strain when you're going all the way and don't plan to sleep in hotels.

Immediately after reading that passage, I had a huge grin on my face. See, you just cannot possibly understand what those words really mean unless you've been there and done that. (It's like that when someone invites you into their home, too.) This does not mean either Jack Kerouac or myself has ever been the slightest bit ungrateful or unappreciative when someone offered a ride. I'm just saying hitchhiking requires an intense amount of labor; physical labor and unrelenting mental labor. You rarely get a chance to turn your brain's master knob to anything below 11.

So after several seconds of grinning big, my eyes welled up a little and I got back to the book.

Not long after his ride with the trucker, Sal got another ride.

"Where you going?"
"Denver."
"Well, I can take you a hundred miles up the line."
"Grand, grand, you saved my life."
"I used to hitchhike myself, that's why I always pick up a fellow."

Now, that is probably the one thing I hear most frequently from people who pick me up because hitchhiking changes you. It frees your mind in many ways. I haven't had an opportunity to pick anyone up yet, but it most certainly will happen.

This sentence also stuck out to me: "[He was] a traveling epic Hassel, crossing and recrossing the country every year, south in the winter and north in the summer, and only because he had no place he could stay in without getting tired of it and because there was nowhere to go but everywhere, keep rolling under the stars, generally the Western stars."

There are some other things I'd like to mention here, but I'm freakin' tired. I have to get up early, too. I hope my stuff comes tomorrow because I really want to get the hell out of here. There's nowhere to go but everywhere.

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Aimless
Aimless Video Evidence
You can contact me at 614-738-3867.

The boy who cried 'Wolf'

I want to apologize for what may have seemed like another punk-ass bitch move on my part.

Yeah, I know you're sick of reading every couple months that I'm quitting. Some of you probably think I'm a little brat who throws a fit every time things don't go my way. And maybe you're right.

Please allow me to explain my recent outburst:

It had nothing to do with Aimless or the apparently universal lack of interest in Aimless. It had nothing to do with you, the readers of this blog. Mostly it had to do with the fact that my parents have always treated me like I'm the stupidest motherfucker on the planet, coupled with the realization that they will always see me that way, regardless of what I accomplish.

Fuck them for that. I will not apologize for how I feel about them. I'm just sorry I have to feel that way. No one should have to feel that way about their parents.

This is not a sob story; I'm not crying about it. It's simply a matter of fact. It pisses me off that my parents have fucked with my head my entire life, and sometimes that anger builds to the point where I can't help but release it, perhaps inappropriately.

If that bothers you, I hope you'll accept my apology. I'll try to keep that kind of stuff to myself in the future. (But don't count on it.)

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Regarding the future of Aimless:

I will be back on the road within a couple days because 1) I'm no longer welcome here, and 2) I don't care if I ever see my parents again. (The only reason I'm still here is because I'm awaiting the shipment of a sleeping bag.)

HOWEVER, I still don't know if I'll bother taking a camcorder this time, nor am I sure if I'll take my phone. I'm starting to think I probably will take them, but I may choose not to. I don't know. And even if I do take the phone, my service may be discontinued next week anyway.

This isn't about appealing to people's emotions; it's about learning how to stay alive out there for real. (Not to suggest that it wasn't real before.) From now on, there won't be a home for me to go back to whenever I need to recover. There will only be more trying to stay alive.

All this stuff presents some questions I need to answer really damn quickly: 1) Should I complicate things further by taking a camcorder, which would demand tons of extra energy to gather footage for a movie that will probably never exist? 2) If so, what the hell am I supposed to do with the eventual accumulation of tapes?

I want to continue Aimless with 100% effort, but if I keep trying to do it all by myself, especially considering the new circumstances, I'll be dead within months. Maybe I'm better off that way.

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Aimless
Aimless Video Evidence
You can contact me at 614-738-3867.

Join the Hobos video comment page

If you arrived here by following the link from the Aimless video page, please leave a comment about the Join the Hobos video.

Don't just meet them

New video in a minute. This shit is probably over. I'm going to hit the road again, but I'm just going to disappear this time, without a camera and without a phone. And it might begin sooner than planned (like before you even see this).

Goodbye.

An update and an introspective rant

I've fixed up the latest video. Cut over 20 seconds and improved the quality. It has the same file name as before, but here's a new link anyway.

It's going to be a little tougher for me to make the upcoming videos in a timely manner. First of all, the footage is tougher to edit than the stuff I've already done. Also, my dad is a total prickwad asshole whose #1 goal in life has been to keep me from achieving anything, so it's probably going to be difficult for me to access the computer in the coming days (or weeks?).

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Y'know, I have absolutely NO training or job experience in ANY of the things I've done on this web site, including web design, graphic design, photography, videography, pizza making, pizza formulation, video editing, writing, and a shitload of other things. Furthermore, I've done it all without anyone's help (excluding the aid I've received from people on the road, which I certainly appreciate, despite what some people claim). I'm not trying to pretend I'm a master of any of these things, but I think I've done a pretty damn good job so far. There are probably only a handful of people on this planet who could do what I've already done, yet it still doesn't seem to mean anything.

God damn, I don't even care if people ever know who I am. I don't want to fuck movie stars. I just want to be able to live in my own place someday and maybe take a nice girl out on a date. I just want to do some kind of work that's valuable to someone else, whether it's my boss, my customers, or my viewers. All I want is to get paid what I'm worth. Nothing more, nothing less.

I've worked thousands and thousands of hours on this project over the last 18+ months without earning a single cent. To this day there is no guarantee that I will ever make a single cent. Additionally, I have suffered what seems to be permanent nerve damage in my left arm/hand from carrying a heavy-ass backpack for six straight months.

Who else does that?

And my parents have always believed I'm a worthless idiot. No evidence to the contrary will ever change that. By the way, my parents are fucking pieces of shit who could have capitalized big-time on this worthless idiot's talents if they weren't so fucking stupid. That's all I have to say about them right now because I didn't intend for this to be a bitchfest.

Anyway, I spend a lot of time on the edge of tears. I've given my heart, my soul, and some of the feeling in my left hand in an effort to do something great, and apparently all I can do is hope I'll get something back from it.

To the people who have supported me: Thank you. (I know who you are and you know who you are.) I hope you realize how much I appreciate your support.

To the people who are more inclined to call me ungrateful and twist my words into shit I never said: It would be a waste of energy to say 'Fuck you.'

(Oops.)

Oh yeah, and I bowled my first 300 four years ago today. (No one taught me how to do that, either.)

I probably had other shit to say, too.

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Aimless
Aimless Video Evidence
You can contact me at 614-738-3867.

Meet the Hobos video comment page

If you arrived here by following the link from the Aimless video page, please leave a comment about the Meet the Hobos video.

The people you meet

I'm uploading a new video as I write this. By the time anyone reads this, it should be fully uploaded, so here's the link.

I still plan to make some minor changes, but mostly I think this video is already presentable. It's hard for me to tell how presentable it is right now, though, because I did the whole thing over the last 8 or 10 hours. One thing that's really bugging me is that the camera lens was visibly dirty throughout most of this stuff. More about it soon.

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Aimless
Aimless Video Evidence
You can contact me at 614-738-3867.

Bo & Hobos

Oh my god, the train-hopping footage is freakin' INCREDIBLE!!! I haven't even watched all of it yet, but the hour and 45 minutes I have watched is amazing. I mean, this stuff could almost be a movie in itself.

From what I've watched so far, I don't know if I'll be able to cut it to less than half an hour. This is going to take a lot of work, but it should be fun.

So don't expect to see it in the next couple days or anything. Assuming I am able to use the computer when I want to use it, I estimate it will be at least a week before I'm ready to upload any of this stuff. But who knows? Keep an eye out.

About the title of this post: If you watched and listened to the cop encounter video, you may know my childhood/teenage nickname was Bo. Every once in a while someone still calls me Bo, but it's very infrequent.

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Aimless
Aimless Video Evidence
You can contact me at 614-738-3867.

Championship game

No prediction from me this time.

Go Bucks!

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Aimless
The Quasi-Aimless Trailer
You can contact me at 614-738-3867.

Blog Exclusive: Crazy Ryan

I probably won't put this short video on the video page. It's from the Naples on-ramp where I lived for a few days. It's in the same place as the cop encounter, but two days later.

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Aimless
The Quasi-Aimless Trailer
You can contact me at 614-738-3867.

Back to Florida?

Right now it's looking like I'll probably wait until mid or late February to hit the road again. That'll give me more time to work on posting as much video as possible, plus it should mean I'll be able to stay on the road for 4 months, rather than just 2 months.

I was thinking about heading toward southern California/Arizona next, but I'm starting to consider going back to Florida, partly to see if I can handle Florida now that I'm a little more experienced at this stuff. The one thing I know for sure is that I'll be going south for winter/spring 2008.

It's starting to frustrate me that I've been unable to attract any collaborators/sponsors. Not because I need them to make me feel important or anything like that, but because I know how much incredible footage would exist right now if I only had a crew around every once in a while (in addition to higher quality equipment).

In all honestly, I know Aimless would be 100 times more entertaining than most of the crap on TV if only I had some backing. I don't even want anyone to make it easier for me when things get unbearably tough. I just want someone to recognize the potential of this project and assist me in achieving that potential.

All I know is that if HBO or A&E or the Travel Channel had come up with this idea, it would already be on TV and it would be making them a lot of money, assuming they could actually find someone with enough balls to do what I do.

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Aimless
The Quasi-Aimless Trailer
You can contact me at 614-738-3867.

Escape from The F Word (Florida) comment page

If you arrived here by following the link from the Aimless video page, please leave a comment about the Escape from The F Word (Florida) video.

Escape from The F Word (Florida) teaser

I'm finished cutting and editing the next video, but it's not quite ready to upload yet because I'm having trouble creating a decent-quality movie without a huge file size. It's really pissing me off because it takes a lot of trial and error and each error costs about an hour.

Anyway, I really like what I have with this one, even though it makes me look like a GIANT asshole (because I am a giant asshole). It's about nine and a half minutes, and I hope I can get it up here sometime tonight.

Jeff and Brad: Thanks for the comments on the previous video. Would you mind copying and pasting your comments onto the Impressions and Comments page? And Jeff, you were a couple days late on the "Happy Birthday." (That's OK, though, because you have to give me at least a week's margin of error when your birthday comes.) Thanks, Jeff.

Update: Here's Escape from The F Word.

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Aimless
The Quasi-Aimless Trailer
You can contact me at 614-738-3867.

Post-Naples stuff

All right, most of the interesting Florida footage (post-Naples) is now in the computer. It looks like there's just under 15 minutes of raw footage to start with, so maybe I'll manage to cut it down to 8 minutes or less. (I don't know, though; this one might be 10 minutes or longer.)

Most of this stuff is me talking to the camera. It's a lot different than the stuff I've already uploaded. I like it. Hopefully I'll feel the same about it when I'm done cutting it.

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Aimless
The Quasi-Aimless Trailer
You can contact me at 614-738-3867.

Hail to the victors

Congrats to the University of Michigan Wolverines for beating the Florida Gators yesterday in what should have been at least a 20-point win.

I made a couple cracks about Michigan in September, following their losses at home to Appalachian State and Oregon (as required by Buckeye law), but I actually root for Michigan most of the time. Considering the circumstances, though, it was impossible not to say anything about Michigan's ultra-pathetic start.

Anyway, good job Michigan. Way to win a big one for your outgoing coach. (I guess that one was for Bo, too, because y'ain't done shit in the thirteen-and-a-half months since he died.)

Go Bucks!

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Aimless
The Quasi-Aimless Trailer
You can contact me at 614-738-3867.

'The Rick Nash Hat Trick'

1 short-handed goal + 1 power play goal + 1 empty-net goal = "The Rick Nash Hat Trick." I guess it was worth it to go to a hockey game tonight instead of sitting around watching a bunch of crappy bowl games. (Pic: Sweeping the hats off the ice after Rick Nash's 2nd career hat trick.)

Columbus Blue Jackets 4
Edmonton Oilers 2

Irishman video comment page

If you arrived here by following the link from the Aimless video page, please leave a comment about the Irishman on a Dirt Bike video.

Irishman video

Here's a new video. I'll have more to say about it later, and I may make some minor revisions.

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Aimless
The Quasi-Aimless Trailer
You can contact me at 614-738-3867.

Coincidental basketball

This is weird.

Earlier today I noticed that Georgetown and Memphis were playing each other in men's college basketball. I thought that was kind of interesting because Ohio State played both of those teams in the NCAA tournament last season.

Then, five minutes ago, I noticed that Tennessee and Xavier are playing each other, too. That's two more of Ohio State's six NCAA tournament opponents.

By then I was beginning to wonder if Ohio State's other two tournament opponents are also playing each other today, but it quickly occurred to me that Ohio State is playing Florida today in a "rematch" of last season's national championship game, which was probably tipping off at the moment I thought about it.

Not that anyone cares--I don't even care--but that's just kind of weird.

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Aimless
The Quasi-Aimless Trailer
You can contact me at 614-738-3867.

Tape 22

It doesn't feel right to go right into this post after writing the previous one, but I'm going to.

I finally got around to watching some more video yesterday. I began by skipping nearly two hours of conversation with Tim Kenneally, the Irishman I met at a gas station near I-75, Exit 101 in Naples, Florida (the last exit before Alligator Alley). Why did I skip that stuff? Because I'm already pretty sure there is a lot of good stuff there, and there is no reason for me to watch all of it, taking notes, since I already know I'm going to watch it all again when I hook up the camcorder to the computer.

Tape 22 begins with Tim riding off toward Miami on the dirtbike he had already ridden from Miami to California and back. Following Tim's dramatic departure, there's some footage of me talking a bunch of nonsense beside the on-ramp, when all of a sudden a white cargo pulls over behind me.

I had forgotten all about that. I am almost never using the camcorder at the exact moment that someone stops to offer me a ride. (I can't think of any other time that has happened right now, but I haven't spent any time thinking about it yet.)

Anyway, the driver of the white cargo van was Lew Graff.

Once I started watching this part of the tape, I began thinking maybe I'd include some footage of Lew in one of the upcoming videos. Since I have mentioned Lew quite a bit, and because Lew has participated regularly on the Aimless Blog, I figured I should kind of introduce him, even if there ended up being no real interesting footage of him.

Strange thing happened, though. Even though I have less than 15 minutes of footage from my ride with Lew, there IS interesting stuff. While riding with him, I had originally hoped to get some good footage of the Everglades on fire, but it appears that the fires were pretty much under control by then. And I suspect the main reason I didn't keep the camera on Lew much is that the van was very loud. Considering this stuff (and a whole bunch of other factors), I'm very glad I ended up with some good Lew stuff. (Hint to Lew: The good stuff is when you were talking about how you used to work in dorm rooms, and how it helped you pick up on the popular trends among college students.)

Tape 22 has a lot of interesting stuff. It was actually fun watching that tape. I want to wrap this up now, but I hope I'll be able to show you some of this stuff very soon. Keep an eye out.

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Aimless
The Quasi-Aimless Trailer
You can contact me at 614-738-3867.

A grieving friend

I was about to write a post about the current state of things when I turned on the computer today, only to be sidetracked by an e-mail from my friend Jay. Unfortunately, during a recent surgical operation, Jay's mother suffered a stroke, putting her in a deep coma from which she is unlikely to awaken.

Out of respect for Jay's privacy, I will not reveal anything more about this.

I know at least one Aimless Blog reader has gotten to know Jay a little bit, but there may be others I don't know about. If any of you would like to say anything to Jay, I guess you can either leave a comment here or e-mail him at [His Name] AT docrivs.com. If you would like to call him, contact me for his phone number.

Stay strong, Jay. I love you, dude.

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Aimless
The Quasi-Aimless Trailer
You can contact me at 614-738-3867.

I'm so stupid

There are four tickets to today's Cleveland Browns game sitting right in front of me. My dad was supposed to use them to entertain a potential client or something like that, but they decided not to go yesterday because the forecast called for really bad weather today.

When I found out the tickets were available, I texted someone I thought might be interested in going to the game, but he couldn't go because he had stuff to do today. With him being unavailable, I pretty much decided I'd just stay home, even though I wanted to go, particularly because of the weather.

Now that the game is on TV, I wish I'd gone, even if I'd gone alone. I mean, have you seen the conditions of this game? With the blizzard conditions, this is one of those games that people will remember for decades.

I'm so stupid for not going.

And I'm not even a Browns fan.

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Aimless
The Quasi-Aimless Trailer
You can contact me at 614-738-3867.

Dumpster Diving video comment page

If you arrived here by following the link from the Aimless video page, please leave a comment about the Dumpster Diving video.

Dumpster diving video

If you've ever been curious to see what the dumpster diving footage in the Quasi-Aimless trailer is all about, here you go. Five minutes of more new video for you. (I uploaded a similar version of this video several months ago, but I don't think I told anyone except Brad.)

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Aimless
The Quasi-Aimless Trailer
You can contact me at 614-738-3867.

Cop Encounter video comment page

If you arrived here by following the link from the Aimless video page, please leave a comment about the Collier County Sheriff video.

Collier County Sheriff video

Here's a brand new video. It is still a pretty rough edit, and it will probably remain a rough edit, although there are some things I think I can clean up a little.

This is not the most horribly exciting footage I have. In fact, it's not even close. But it provides a glimpse into one of many cop encounters. This particular cop encounter does have some unusual stuff, which becomes more evident in the last minute or so, but mostly this video provides a good representation of the typical Aimless cop encounter.

You'll probably think the camera is all over the place, but I am actually amazed by how frequently the subject is in the picture. Y'see, I wasn't standing there looking through the camera when I captured this footage. Most of the time I was holding it in one hand or the other, at about waist level, kind of pointing it toward someone or something, having no idea if I was anywhere near my target. Not bad considering.

If you watch this video, I would really appreciate your feedback and criticism. What's good about it? What's bad about it? What do you think should be cut? Yada yada...

Whatever you have to say about it, I'd like to hear. If you are hesitant to criticize because you know me, then comment anonymously.

--
Aimless
The Quasi-Aimless Trailer
You can contact me at 614-738-3867.

Duke Fish

This is pretty cool.

Duke Dewey (pic) is a guy I know from Yellow Springs. Before I knew him, he was just a familiar face at Dino's Cappuccinos. I used to see him pretty much every time I went there, and in time we began to acknowledge each other's presence--we'd nod or say hi--whenever our paths crossed.

Eventually Duke initiated a friendly conversation with me, and I learned that he is a drummer. Being a former passionate drummer myself, Duke and I had something in common, so our conversation flowed smoothly. However, in the weeks following that conversation, our weekly interaction devolved back into "Hey, what's up? See ya."

One day several weeks after our conversation, when I popped into Dino's, the tiny room was full of customers, so I had nowhere to sit. Seeing Duke alone at a table for two, I asked him if I could join him. He didn't mind, so I sat across from him and we began a new conversation.

As Duke and I talked drums and drumming, seemingly from out of nowhere he mentioned that he is in the Woodstock movie. Puzzled and curious, I responded, "W-W-Wait a minute... What!?!" I continued, "Are you IN the movie or are you just in the movie?" He then explained that he was the drummer for Country Joe and the Fish. (So he is IN the movie.)

I still didn't know Duke's name at this point, so I asked him. He answered, "Greg, but most people call me Duke." He also told me some of his aliases (or stage names), which include Duke DeGreaze and Dewey DeGreaze.

That was about a year ago.

---

About a month ago I saw Duke for the first time since passing through Yellow Springs at the end of Aimless Leg 1. Because Country Joe and the Fish is from San Francisco, I asked him if he made it to San Francisco in September for the 40th anniversary of the Summer of Love. He said he didn't go, I think because he was not offered enough money. (Don't go thinking that was some kind of greedy rock star response, because it wasn't. Duke may have been borderline famous nearly 40 years ago, but he has to pay the bills just like everyone else.)

On this day at Dino's there was also a woman and her twentysomething daughter. The daughter didn't know who Duke is, but she had a laptop with her, so Duke and the girl's mother suggested that she visit YouTube and search for "Country Joe and the Fish." She did, and one of the search results brought up a western movie featuring Country Joe and the Fish as a saloon house band called The Crackers. I never knew Duke was in any movies other than Woodstock, so it was cool for me to see the YouTube video.

The movie is called Zachariah and I'd never heard of it. (In fact, I just found out the name of it today.) If you watch the video below, the blonde guy in the bar is a young Don Johnson (pre-Miami Vice).

(I didn't even know this exists, but Duke has a web site. It must be relatively new because I never found it when I googled his name after meeting him.)



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Aimless
The Quasi-Aimless Trailer
You can contact me at 614-738-3867.

Coppers

Don't everyone jump at once to comment on the revised trailer. Kinda makes me want to spend hours and hours every day editing more video.

Anyway, so far I have cut the cop video down to just over 10 minutes. It requires a lot more editing than I expected, which won't be obvious by watching it. I may be ready to upload it within a day or two, but I'm not making any promises.

--
Aimless
The Quasi-Aimless Trailer
You can contact me at 614-738-3867.

Quasi-Aimless video comment page

If you arrived here by following the link from the Aimless video page, please leave a comment about the Quasi-Aimless trailer.

It's up

Even if you've already watched the Quasi-Aimless trailer, I hope you'll do me a favor and watch Part 1 again (only as far as the "AIMLESS" sign on notebook paper), and then watch my new revision (the whole thing). I'd really appreciate your feedback regarding the new version, even if you are ultra critical of it. Tell me what you think I could do to make it better and stuff like that.

If you have anything to say about it, just leave a comment on this post. I'll provide my own critique in about a week (unless I don't).

Thanks.

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Aimless
The Quasi-Aimless Trailer
You can contact me at 614-738-3867.

Update on video stuff

Since returning home, I've struggled with a severe lack of motivation, which I can't explain. But recently I've managed to get my sorry ass over to my dad's Mac to start working on some video stuff. The Florida cop stuff didn't pull me in very well the other day, so yesterday I decided to make some changes to the Quasi-Aimless trailer.

If you've watched Quasi-Aimless, you probably think the first minute or so of the first video--the part where I tell my story to Jeff--is boring as hell. If you do think it's boring as hell, you are correct. So I've removed all of that stuff and replaced it with just enough text to explain the situation. Also, I've combined Part 1 and Part 2, which is what I originally intended.

Right now I'm trying to convert the Final Cut Express file to a QuickTime movie of high quality but reasonable file size. This is not easy, and it's a hassle because it takes a lot of time to figure out the right settings. I'm on my fifth try right now. The first three attempts each produced unacceptably low quality videos. The fourth attempt produced a fantastic video, but it was 74.3 MB, which is way too big. I think my goal is to end up with something under 40 MB.

I don't know how long it will take me to get it right, but I will upload the new video as soon as I get it all worked out. And when I'm done with that, I'll get my ass working on some new stuff.

Update: At 3:55 EST, I'm almost there. Should be uploaded by tonight sometime.

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Aimless
The Quasi-Aimless Trailer
You can contact me at 614-738-3867.

Evil Peyton Manning

This is really funny, especially if you are familiar with Peyton Manning's public demeanor. I think it is from Saturday Night Live. (Embedding has been disabled for this video, so go here to watch it.)

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Aimless
The Quasi-Aimless Trailer
You can contact me at 614-738-3867.

Redemption?

Beep... Beep... Beep...

Back it on in, Buckeyes!!! All the way to New Orleans.





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Aimless
The Quasi-Aimless Trailer
You can contact me at 614-738-3867.

Oh what fun

I just finished watching Tape 18 and began watching Tape 19. Tape 19 begins on the night of May 20, 2007, with the Everglades on fire.

In case you may have wondered: Yes, most of this video footage is boring as hell. And it's hard to tell when any particular moment of footage may be interesting because watching and listening to videotapes kind of numbs your brain. I'm just trying to take note of the remotely interesting moments and write down each interesting moment's time code.

This is not the slightest bit fun. I hope you--both of you--appreciate how much unfun work goes into the making of something like Aimless.

Update (3:01 PM): The second Collier County Sheriff encounter on the Naples, Florida on-ramp is pretty interesting. You may remember, my first encounter there was when some asshole deputy pulled up and harassed me, saying through his loudspeaker, "What're you doin' on my Interstate, boy?" Unfortunately I did not catch it on tape. But only 15 or 20 minutes later, when another cruiser pulled up, I had the camera running. It's over 15 minutes of pretty good stuff. These guys were cool, even though they stopped because I fit the description of a perp. I may upload most of it unedited.

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Aimless
The Quasi-Aimless Trailer
You can contact me at 614-738-3867.

Intro to Idiocracy

If you have not seen the movie Idiocracy, see it now. There is a whole bunch of stuff I want to say about it, but I'll just quote some stuff from an IMDB message board for now. (You'll probably have to register before you can read any of the boards. It's OK to register; no hassles or fees or anything like that.)

I watched "Idiocracy" on DVD last night, which happened to be Australian election night. Flip-flopping between the DVD and the TV news coverage, the people started to become interchangeable - one set of morons for another. Crowds on the TV were screaming and roaring at the slightest provocation, drowning out commentators, much to their annoyance, and raising the ire of politicians trying to make their points. Any sign of intelligence was sadly missing, and politicians appealing to the lowest common denominator were rewarded by the loudest cheers (and votes).

In addition to stupidity, the film notes how life 500 years from now is preoccupied with sex and violence. What do we see on the TV news every night, and in our newspapers - rapes, internet predators, pedophiles, Paris Hilton, accompanied by pub brawls, neighbourhood brawls, people being glassed, stabbed, bashed.

You're right - sadly, it's already happening.

Mike Judge is brilliant. I want to work with him for free someday. Writing, acting, or anything. I don't care.

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Aimless
The Quasi-Aimless Trailer
You can contact me at 614-738-3867.

RHCP

From Yahoo News: Red Hot Chili Peppers sue Showtime over series. I haven't read this article, nor do I plan to read it, because... give me a freakin' break.

Showtime has a series called Californication, which you may know is also the title of an RHCP album. Now, I think the Red Hot Chili Peppers are a great band--one of the very few whose music has gotten better as they've aged, particularly the album Californication--but there is no need to go all Lars Ulrich just because some movie channel stole a word you coined.

Titles are not intellectual property. I could call Aimless Californication if I wanted to, and RHCP's lawyers would have no legal beef, nor would Showtime. Conversely, RHCP could make a film called Aimless if they wanted to, and I would have no legal beef.

In all likelihood, Showtime's title-theft has boosted the sales of RHCP's Californication CD. So please get over it, RHCP, and realize that Showtime's continued use of the title Californication is in your best interest because it creates brand recognition.

Don't be a Lars, RHCP.

* * * * *
10 minutes later... I MAY have changed my mind, but only because 'Californication' is a word RHCP created (or at least they were the first to use it commercially). If 'Californication' had already been a word, that would be different.

Still can't say I think they have much of a foundation for a law suit, though.

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Aimless
The Quasi-Aimless Trailer
You can contact me at 614-738-3867.

Unplanned sports talk

So Barry Bonds has been indicted and it sounds like there is a good chance he'll end up spending some time in prison.

For what?

For allegedly lying about whether or not he took steroids.

Is it really such a big freakin' deal? How does something so petty and insignificant even make it into the court system? What a waste of American tax dollars!!!

Now don't go thinking I'm some kind of Barry Bonds fan or anything like that. I hate baseball, and as far as I can tell, Barry Bonds is a cheating-ass jerkwad. But being a cheating-ass jerkwad of a baseball player is not a crime.

I can think of another cheating-ass jerkwad who also happens to be a war criminal and an enemy of the American people. He ought to live in the Big House--the pound-me-in-the-ass variety. Instead he lives in the White House.

Why isn't George Bush facing this kind of scrutiny and prosecution?

PS - I've watched some of my footage from the night Bonds broke the home run record, and I think there may be some compelling stuff. Perhaps I'll be able to upload a rough edit of some of that stuff soon.

* * * * *
I read somewhere that a New York Knicks player was fined $180,000 for missing a game the other night. Big deal; he won't miss it.

$180,000 may be chump change for most professional athletes, but you know what I could do with $180,000?

I could open a really nice, well-equipped pizzeria and support myself for the rest of my life. I could create some decent jobs for a handful of people who currently have crappy jobs. I could do a lot of good stuff for myself and my community. Oh yeah, and I could pay it all back, plus interest.

But these guys just throw away $180,000 like it's nothing. What a waste.

* * * * *
One more thing:

Go Bucks!
Beat the shit out of those Michigan pussies!!!

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Aimless
The Quasi-Aimless Trailer
You can contact me at 614-738-3867.

Aspiring Pro Golfer Seeks Sponsor

As I've mentioned before, one of this blog's regular readers is a young aspiring professional golfer named Luke Swilor. Luke spent the summer of 2007 playing on the Canadian Tour, which hosts events all over Canada, as well as the western United States and Mexico.

After months of occasional e-communication, Luke and I finally crossed paths this September, meeting at a public house in Portland. He had a long drive back to Salt Lake ahead of him, so he could only hang around for an hour or so, but our short encounter made me a huge Luke Swilor fan.

OK, so what's the point of this post?

I wrote this post to prepare for the remote possibility that a prospective sponsor might stumble here and consider backing Luke's future golf endeavors.

Now, why should you consider sponsoring Luke?

1. Luke is one of the nicest guys I've ever met. He's easy to like and I have no doubt that you would feel you've done the right thing if you invest in him.


2. I don't know much about ascending the ranks of the professional golf hierarchy, but something inside tells me Luke is on his way to doing it.


3. Luke is driven to succeed, both in golf and as a person.


4. I could extend this list a long way, but I want you to figure out the other reasons for yourself. Start by reading Luke Swilor's Road to the Tour and continue by getting to know the man. You will be impressed and you'll give yourself an opportunity to avoid the rush on Luke Swilor sponsorship.

Go Luke!

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Aimless
The Quasi-Aimless Trailer
You can contact me at 614-738-3867.

New e-mail address

For those of you who sometimes communicate with me via e-mail, I have a new personal e-mail address. It's the initials of my first name and my middle name, followed by my entire last name (all one word) @ att.net. If you don't know my first and middle initials, you can find them at the bottom of this post.

Jeff: I tried calling you last week and got a message saying I'd reached a non-working number. What's up with that? Did you move again or something? Are you all right? Let me know what's up, eh.

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Aimless
The Quasi-Aimless Trailer
You can contact me at 614-738-3867.

Classy

Has anyone seen this yet? It's a bunch of asshole Penn State frat boys throwing full beer cans at Ohio State fans last Saturday before the game. From what I've read, the guy with the camera actually uploaded the video for the world to see because he thought their actions were cool. What a dumbfuck fuckface!?!

I saw no behavior like this at either of the Ohio State road games I attended (at Washington and at Purdue).



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Aimless
The Quasi-Aimless Trailer
You can contact me at 614-738-3867.

Dry-mouth

I haven't said much the last couple weeks because I can't keep up with my brain. So many thoughts. So many distractions. So much pizza to bake.

Whenever I am able, I will spit it out here.

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Aimless
The Quasi-Aimless Trailer
If you'd like to contact me, call me at 614-738-3867.

See Jackie

Remember the girl who gave me the ride to Big Sur? The actress, Jaclyn (Jackie) DeSantis? Well, if you want to see who she is, IMDB says TBS will be airing Road Trip a couple times this weekend:

Sat. Oct. 27 10:10 PM
Sun. Oct. 28 4:15 PM

Jackie's character's name is Heather. I really like Road Trip, but I haven't seen it since a long time before I met Jackie, so it will be interesting to see it again (if I even watch it).

If I remember correctly, Luke told me he actually recognized my picture of Jackie as a character in Road Trip.

--
Aimless
The Quasi-Aimless Trailer
If you'd like to contact me, call me at 614-738-3867.

I heard it's time to rock

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Aimless
The Quasi-Aimless Trailer
If you'd like to contact me, call me at 614-738-3867.

Trampin' ain't easy

Now is a good time to stray from all the negativity of late, so I'll respond to Lew's comment from the previous post.

First I said:

6) Keeping yourself alive is two full-time jobs in itself--the hardest two jobs you will have ever had.

Then Lew commented:

I wouldn't mind hearing you expound upon this idea. I think there is some juice in there that could be squeezed. I daresay that most people think that homeless people are drugged up and lazy.

* * * * *
I am not a professional tramp; I am merely a tramp in training (but not really). Unlike real tramps and homeless people, I very rarely ask anyone for help or assistance because my objective is not to solicit. My objective is partly to be a catalyst for people to choose, with their own free will, to do something nice for someone out of the kindness of their heart, without expecting anything in return.

Lew, I'd say you are a perfect example of someone who has done exactly that. If I remember correctly, I wasn't even paying attention when you pulled over on the I-75 on-ramp to offer me a ride across Alligator Alley. I just turned around and saw a white van sitting there, so I picked up my stuff and walked to the van to see what was up. Within a few seconds, I was riding with you toward Fort Lauderdale and we quickly established a very friendly conversation. We talked the whole time, about music and beer and whatnot. You also told me about some bar in the Smoky Mountains. Then, when we arrived in Davie, you took me to a restaurant and bought me fish & chips and a beer. You did it out of the kindness of your heart, without provocation and without the expectation of anything in return. (If I'm not mistaken, though, you feel like you did receive something in return from me, and you also know I keep you on the short list of people I hope I can repay someday. Does that sound right?)

Anyway, to answer your question, when I'm out on the road, I spend most of my time walking somewhere or trying to get a ride somewhere. When walking, I lug at least 55 pounds of stuff for 10-20 miles a day (or sometimes 28 miles). That takes a lot of work, as can currently be evidenced by my enlarged calf muscles and shrunken belly.

When not walking, I'm usually beside an on-ramp or at a truck stop. Although neither of those activities requires much physical effort, each requires a lot of mental labor because you can't just sit there with your brain turned off. You have to keep your head up and make eye contact with the drivers passing you on the on-ramp. You have to keep your head up and make eye contact with the truckers walking past you on their way to the fuel desk.

I must also engage in conversation with people so they can size me up. Sometimes, like when I was in the Flying J restaurant in Gary a couple weeks ago, it becomes a four-hour conversation, which may lead to nothing. (In that case, I talked for four hours with a really cool guy named Al Garcia from Brownsville, Texas. He ended up buying me a lunch buffet before he left. I've been meaning to say something about my encounter with Al for a while.) But sometimes that's how you end up with interesting video footage, too, even though I never turned on the camera during my conversation with Al.

When I have money and choose to buy food from a grocery store, first I have to walk to the grocery store, which may be 2-5 miles away. I usually end up walking another mile inside the store because I have to walk down every aisle at least once, then return to certain aisles after I've sorted everything out in my head. (I carry all my gear the whole time.) How much are apples, clam chowder, Chef Boyardee, Pay Day? Any specials I might want to take advantage of for tonight's dinner--something I must eat ASAP or end up throwing away? Do I dare treat myself to something special tonight, like 3/4 of a pound of cold boneless chicken "wings" for $5? Are there any day-old specials, like a dozen of yesterday's donuts for $2 or less? Don't forget to grab some plastic spoons before you leave. Oh yeah, and fill up your water bottles at the water fountain.

And sleepytime isn't always good rest, either. Like last Friday night, my first night back in central Ohio. Friday night was by far the coldest night I've spent outside. Very, very cold, but not freezing. I didn't get much sleep that night, and it took me a long time to pack up in the morning, due to excessive condensation inside the rainfly. I probably would have been fine, in terms of temperature, if I had an appropriate sleeping bag, but I don't have one yet, although I probably have enough $$ remaining on my REI gift card to get one.

There is a lot more to say here. To be continued...

--
Aimless
The Quasi-Aimless Trailer
If you'd like to contact me, call me at 614-738-3867.