Thursday, September 14, 2006

Aimless is not dead

I've had a couple days to think about it, and I've decided Aimless most certainly is not dead. I was just really upset a couple days ago because my dad is (and has always been) an unsupportive asshole. After I suggested to him Monday that some people would rather not have canned cat food dispensed (and spilled) on the human food preparation area of the kitchen island, he went fucking nuts.

How dare anyone challenge Larry in any way, whether he's right or wrong?

Fuck him. He has fucked with me my whole life simply because I was never a miniature version of him; because I don't learn the same way he learns; because I'm not interested in the same stuff he's interested in. Even to this day he treats me like I'm a fucking idiot who could never succeed at anything. And every time I do accomplish something great, neither he nor my mom thinks much of it. As far as they're concerned, I will always be a fuck-up.

When I bowled my first 300, my parents were shocked, not proud. When I bowled my second 300 five months later, my parents were shocked, not proud. And even though they realize I've taught myself to make the best pizza they've ever tasted, they cannot comprehend the idea that Stupid Ryan might actually have what it takes to operate a very profitable pizzeria. Even though I've demonstrated a thorough understanding of pizza marketing and all other aspects of pizzeria operations, they refuse to believe in me because they know Ryan is fucking stupid. And they've lied to me more times than I can count. They're not even good at it, but they never back down whenever I call them on an obvious lie. That's how stupid they think I am.

And you know what? I'm glad my dad exploded because it reminded me what Aimless is all about. It reminded me that almost no one believes in me. It reminded me that I'm alone. It reminded me that I have done a lot of great things despite the fact that no one has ever believed in me. And it made me realize that I will accomplish a lot more great things, beginning with Aimless.

I know I am the underdog, but that doesn't mean I'm not good at what I do. It just means that no one recognizes how good I am at what I do. Similarly, the "experts" in Vegas expected the Ohio State Buckeyes to lose by 2 or 3 points in Austin last Saturday night, but OSU won by 17 and could have won by more. Well, I'm a Buckeye, literally and metaphorically, and I will win.