Monday, July 06, 2009

It ain't over

If anyone still reads this: I plan to hit the road again soon.

I can't wait to get outta here in a couple weeks. I have too much time right now to think about shit I don't need to be thinking about, and it's not doing me any good.

On the road there's no time to process thoughts, and it eventually makes you really crazy. Considering how much time I've already spent on the road, though, and how much time I've had to reflect and learn, I think I can handle it better this time. But at less than 140 lbs already, will my body be able to take the punishment?

I don't have any more bullshit to worry about, so I think this trek will be much better than the previous adventures have turned out. Also, I think it will be better for the people who put up with the things I write here.

What will be different this time?

Well, for example, I really don't care anymore if I ever hear back from NBC, so no more bitching about that. Yes, I want to hear from them and I know I'm money in their bank, but I'm not the slightest bit worried about it anymore.

Also, that girl Missy who's been in my head for almost five years. I finally realized yesterday that she simply is not a good person. For so long I refused to believe it, and all I did was make myself look crazy in her eyes by trying to reach her. But now I know the truth, and unfortunately she's just not a good person. I think deep down in her heart she is a beautiful person, but she doesn't listen to her heart (or the voice of reason), so I can't continue hurting myself by wishing she would.

Anyway, that's a big weight lifted from my back right there. It's just one of many things that should make the next trek more enjoyable to the three people who read this blog. Another thing that should make it better is that I don't expect to update very frequently. I've put too much pressure on myself in the past by trying to do too much and trying to share too much. I'm gonna be selfish this time and try to enjoy the experience a little more, and that should help you enjoy it a little more, too.

But who knows if I'll stick to my plan once I hit the road?

P.S. - I hope you see this, Missy Green, because... Originally I was going to say I want you to see it so you can misinterpret even more of my words and perpetuate the lie in your head, but that's not why I want you to see it. I want you to see it because I still hope you and I can forgive each other someday and become friends or whatever. I just don't know if I'll ever be able to forgive you now.

Update (7/16/09): Forget that; there will be no more forgiveness.

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