Thursday, December 07, 2006

Third strike

My mom called me yesterday to find out where I am, what I'm planning, and stuff like that. My response was that I'm still at Jeff's house in Beaumont, California and I have no plans. (Remember, I am aimless.) I asked her if I've received any mail that looks like it might have a check inside. She said no. All I've received is something from the folks at NAPICS (a pizza trade show in Columbus).

Well, I'll tell y'all something: This is the third time I've been fucked over by someone--that is, not paid for my work--after going way out of my way to do someone a huge favor that no one else would do for them.

I hope you're reading this, Patrick Johnson, because I don't want to sic the IRS on you. But if you don't pay me $250 for the 30-50 hours I worked for you a few weeks ago, you're gonna pay a much heavier price in some other way. Y'see, you haven't obeyed labor laws or tax laws or safety laws or probably dozens of other laws I can't even think of, and you don't have enough power to get away with it. So Patrick Johnson, even though I have nothing against you personally, I am about to report your actions to every agency that matters unless I get a check from you really fucking soon. And maybe you don't believe me, but it will end up costing you a lot more than the $250 I have demanded for my work. You might think of yourself as a republican or libertarian, Patrick, but only real businesspeople receive the kind of unregulated freedom you apparently expect with your illegal business ventures. Conversely, nobodies like yourself must live within reality and face consequences after breaking the law. So do you want to do this the easy way or the hard way? It's your choice. I'm not fucking around here.

And John Hetrick of Columbus, Ohio: You owe me for the work I did for you this past summer at your drive-thru (Arcade Drive-Thru on Snouffer Road, near Sawmill). Originally I calculated the wages you owe me at about $250, but that was several months ago. So after interest and some other reasonable adjustments, John Hetrick, I figure you owe me about $450. And if I don't receive it soon after I send you a letter about it, I will sic the dogs on you, too.

Same thing goes for you, Stella Royce and Todd Royce of Sonny's Pizza in North Charleston, South Carolina. You fucked me over real good, and I want what's mine. Nothing more, nothing less. You owe me $500, after interest and inflation, Stella. And yes, I still expect it after nearly a year and a half. You can find my mailing address on the Aimless contact page.

I have a good heart and it's in my nature to try to help people who need my help, but I've learned a lot from my experiences with these three parties. Principally I've learned that most people in these situations put themselves in these situations. They did it by being greedy and fucking people over, and they never learn from their mistakes. Well, when you fuck me over, you're not just going to get away with it, folks. And although my current status with you three entities is "fucked over," I've learned a lot from the experience. Mainly I've learned not to try to help people like you, so I simply won't do it again. The experiences have empowered me, even if I never see the money I'm owed.

What was that? Learning from mistakes? Yeah, I do it all the time. Y'all should give it a try, too.