Cock rock

As I drove to and from Germantown (near Dayton) yesterday, I heard a couple songs on the radio that really caught my attention. The first one stood out for a few reasons. However, having just looked up the song's lyrics, I've concluded I must have misinterpreted it when I heard it, so I'll say nothing more about it here.

(Wow, you missed a great inaccurate critique.)

The other song played as I passed through downtown Dayton on the way home. It's a song I've probably heard at least a few times before, but for some reason it really stuck out this time.

It was a Nickelback song. It went something like this:

Boy I shor do like havin my cock sucked
Oh yeah I shor do like havin my cock sucked, baby
I want the world to know I shor do like havin my cock SAAAHHCKED,
YEAH YEAH YEAH

And I'll tell y'all right now in this fake-ass deep voice
That I'm a man, yeah, I'm a MAAAAAY-AAAAAAAWN
And I'll have you know that I don't put no cocks in my mouth
I ain't no closet homo, BAY-BAAAAAAH
No, I get MY cocked sucked, yeah yeah yeah
By women, yeah yeah yeah

Suck my cock, oh yeah, suck my cock,
Cuz I do love it when you, who are female, suck my cock

(Repeat and fade)

When that song was over, they played another Nickelback song. I swear it was the same freak-uckin' song, except it didn't sound exactly the same and about three of the words were different. The second song went something like: "I like your pants around your feet and I'm certainly not a queer and don't you EVER try to imply that I take it up the ass ever again cuz I'm Nickelback, BAY-BAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!"

Do people actually buy this stuff?!? Obviously they buy the albums, but do they buy into the ridiculous tough-guy crap?

Is our society really this stupid?

This is a perfect example of why Idiocracy is one of the most brilliant movies ever made. If you have not seen Idiocracy, go rent it now or come over to my house because I recorded it on the new DVR a couple nights ago.

How old are you, Nickelback? My guess is 12.

Guess what, Nickelback. Pretty much all men enjoy having their cocks sucked by women. However, most of us don't have to tell the world over and over and over just how frequently we think about pussy. In case you missed the article in the Penthouse you stole from your dad's drawer (to make him believe you're into chicks), it's been pretty well established that heterosexual men think about pussy non-stop, OK. You're not special. Constantly thinking about pussy is what keeps our species alive.

In fact, I think about pussy so much, it has taken me 15 hours to write this post. But that's the last you'll hear me talk about how frequently I think about pussy (which I do all the time, by the way) because I don't need to prove to myself or anyone else that I'm a man.

Right?

I'm gonna shut up now because I have to think about pussy for a while.

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