Thursday, May 14, 2009

Wilson

With Cast Away showing on the TV in the periphery, Tom Hanks just went nuts because he lost Wilson to the ocean. Most of y'all probably never think about how real that can be, but yes, you can do similarly crazy shit when you find yourself in an unusually lonely position like that. And you don't have to be all alone to be that lonely.

On the road I found myself incredibly lonely. With each passing second, the loneliness grew, constantly pushing me deeper into an alternate reality that no one else can really understand because no one else has ever been to this place. In time it even caused me to say and do a lot of things I never would have said or done before.

While I did meet people almost constantly, that didn't ease the loneliness because these people were all in and out of my life in an instant, creating an even more lonely experience than when I was all alone. With all these people coming in and out of your life, it's like you're no one to everyone. Conversely, you're also someone really special and unique to most of them because you're doing something they all wish they could do. But then, just as quickly as they showed up, they're gone forever. And then the next one is gone, and the next one after that is gone, and it never ends. When you're stuck in that kind of environment for long enough, it can really fuck with your head.

However, when you get back to the sane world where you know people and have a couch to relax on, you eventually become something resembling sane once again, just like Tom Hanks's character did. Not completely who you once were, but close.

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