I personify aimless

Having just Googled 'aimless' for the first time in a long time, I was surprised to see that the Aimless web site is now near the top of the list of search results, second only to the definition of 'aimless.' I guess that means there is no one on this planet more aimless than myself. Shouldn't that make me famous or something? Well, I guess I picked the right title for this dying project.

It's too bad Aimless never reached the consciousness of anyone important (like a network or cable bigwig) because I've met some of the most interesting characters on this planet. I haven't been able to tell even a fraction of my story or the Aimless story here, but I can assure y'all that it would have been a fascinating series or movie if only I'd had some people (like a crew) to help me capture the story. Y'see, no one can do it all by themself. You may not realize this, but simply keeping myself alive is the equivalent of working three full-time jobs.

I'm tired now. Unless you've done this tramping thing before, you will never have any idea how tired I am. I've literally had a nearly constant headache for at least a few weeks. I have a hard time interacting with people--even the coolest, most down-to-earth people--because I can't cram any more information into my head. I don't trust my senses anymore because nothing seems real. I can't seem to feel happiness or sadness or any emotions anymore. I'm not even rattled by extreme hunger.

So why do I feel like crying just about all the time?

Something inside me knows this is all wrong, but something else inside me is trying to hide the truth from my consciousness.

It doesn't matter where I am, but I'm not in California anymore.

I'm nearing 1,000 ped-miles since July 31.

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Aimless
Aimless Video Evidence

What a messed up day, Part 2

Continued from What a messed up day, Part 1.

After a time-consuming struggle with the strong and constant wind (which, by the way, is what fueled the nearby fires last weekend), I made it back to my campsite, totally beat. Fortunately none of my other gear had blown away while I was off chasing the tent. But it wasn't nearly over yet.

My next objective was to figure out how to get my stuff into my tent. Y'see, it's not easy to keep a tent-kite in place when you have to use your hands to grab the stuff you want to put in it, partly because you need to hold on to the tent at the end but throw your stuff in through the side. Even if you manage to get all your stuff inside the tent, the wind still wants to blow all of it to freaking Mexico, and it can almost do that, even with the weight of all the gear inside.

Seeing how there was no point in staking out the tent (due to the loose sand and hard rock), I had to try to put the heavier pieces of my gear on the windward side of the tent. But when almost everything is out of the backpack, there is only one remotely heavy piece of gear: the backpack and the few pieces of gear that I don't take out of it at night. So I threw the backpack onto the area where my head would be if I was sleeping. The backpack alone is not enough to cover that whole side, so the tent was blowing like crazy, the poles bending to an uncomfortable extent, while I tried to get everything else inside the tent canopy, including myself.

Eventually I worked out that part. Me and all my stuff were inside the tent, sans rainfly, and I was relaxing, with the tent blowing like crazy beside me and in my face. Then came a huge gust of wind, and along with the wind came sand. With the sand particles being smaller than the holes in the tent canopy's mesh, I was now in the middle of a sandstorm, being pelted by the little pieces of earth-rock, which only blow into the tent, not out.

Now remember, I'm in the midst of a migraine right now.

Immediately I grabbed the rainfly, unzipped a door, and slipped my bare feet into my boots, not tying them. As I exited the tent, there was no longer 150 pounds keeping one side of the tent relatively in place, so the tent began flapping everywhere once again. But somehow I managed to attach the rainfly and get back inside the tent without it breaking or going on tour of Mexico.

Now that I'm safely inside the tent, this episode may seem over, but it's not even close because the wind kept up all night. So as I spent the night with my body keeping the tent from blowing away, I couldn't keep the wind from blowing the tent violently back and forth and in my face. I also spent much of the night worrying that the poles would break. Fortunately the aluminum poles did not break, but one of the poles ended up bent about 15 degrees in one spot.

I'm sick of typing, so I'll say one more thing: With the strong wind continuing the next morning, it was a bitch tearing down the tent and packing everything up. Also, all my stuff had tons of sand in it, which also is not very pleasant. I hesitantly slept in almost the same spot the next night, but there was barely any wind that time.

I think that's about it for the time being. I've felt lingering effects from the migraine for the last week. Actually, my life has been one constant headache for quite a while now.

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Aimless
Aimless Video Evidence

Eloy report

Now that I have some space, here's what happened yesterday, regarding the arraignment: As soon as I finished packing up in the morning, I called my mom and asked her to look up the Eloy District Attorney's phone number, then call the DA. I gave my mom all the important details as I walked a mile back to the Ontario TA truck stop.

Important details for the DA to know: 1) I'd been trying to get a ride from Ontario to Eloy for the previous three days, but I can't make it on time; 2) Greyhound doesn't stop in Eloy; 3)Even though I can't make it on time, I'm still trying to get there. Maybe some other stuff, too.

We were still on the phone as I arrived at my perch across street from TA's truck exit with a sign reading 'Phoenix.' Five or ten minutes after our call, my mom called me back and told me the charge was already dropped.

So that bullshit is over, thankfully.

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Aimless
Aimless Video Evidence

Happy birthday, Jay

Happy birthday, Jay. I know I'm five days late, but I actually thought about it four days ago, if that's any consolation. I've had a lot of shit on my mind, y'know. I hope things are going well.

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Aimless
Aimless Video Evidence

You'll never believe this: The

You'll never believe this: The trainhop-related charge was dropped... before my mom even called the prosecutor on my behalf. More later maybe.

An eternal headache

Oh Jesus Christ, where to begin? First, I'm not gonna make it to Eloy and I really don't care. So I'll be in contempt of court, eh? Yeah, well Eloy is in contempt of Ryan. They've already taken a month from my life and they've probably cut some time off the end of it, too. I've been punished enough; they're not gonna get a cent from me. I might have gotten a ride if I'd been quicker to realize that some guy at the truck stop is way beyond a compulsive liar. I can't even begin to tell that story here. --> Today I watched a big truck push a BMW sideways about 300 feet, with the front of the truck against the BMW's driver's-side door. Got some of it on tape, too. The lady in the BMW was seriously freaked out and crying when the truck finally stopped, right in front of me. I really felt for her; I can't imagine the terror of what she went through. The trucker had no idea she'd even hit the
car, and if I hadn't been there, she probably wouldn't have stopped as soon as she did. Very surreal.

The one time I absolutely

The one time I absolutely HAVE TO get a ride, it's beginning to look like I'm fucked. If I don't get a ride in the next 8 hours, I'm in contempt.

Family man

This dude is Family Guy. Not only does he look like him, but he also kinda talks like him and has a very similar personality and sense of humor. When I told him he reminds me of Peter from Family Guy, he said other people have said that to him, but also that he has never even seen Family Guy. Kinda like me and Into the Wild, I guess. He's a trucker/firefighter named Tom.

What a messed up day, Part 1

You have no idea what kind of shit I go through out here on the road sometimes. Let’s recap yesterday:

I already mentioned the citation for soliciting or whatever. That was early in the morning, and I really don’t think there will be any serious consequences when I don’t show up for court next year. The only reason the cop cited me is to keep some worthless bum out of Montclair forever. Y’see, he profiled me because I carried a large backpack, first writing a citation and asking questions later. When he figured out that I was actually a traveler, not a bum, he became a little less of a dick (but he was still a dick). After taking some time to think about signing the citation, I told him there’s no way I’ll be here in January 2009. That’s when he told me there will only be serious consequences if I show up in Montclair again.

Totally unnecessary bullshit.

Shortly after that, I took a bus to Rancho Cucamonga to put myself in position to see some football on Saturday before heading to a nearby truck stop to get a ride to Stupid Arizona.

In Rancho I ate at In-N-Out Burger. (I’ve been meaning to write a very detailed post about In-N-Out Burger for a while because In-N-Out is by far the best model of how to operate a business in this country. Maybe I’ll get to that sometime.) After eating, at about 5:30 pm, I became very tired and light-headed. It wasn’t lack of sleep or In-N-Out Burger that did this to me; I think it was a few short glimpses of direct sunlight that caused the strange feeling. So, as it was almost completely dark by this time, I began looking for a spot to set up camp for the night, or at least a place where I could lay down and rest a while.

Quickly finding an undeveloped desert area where I would not be seen at such an early hour, I began looking for a flat spot to put up my tent. As I walked around on the dirt and sand, I became more disoriented. I had tunnel vision and I felt very clumsy by now, but I knew I was close to finding a good spot. Feeling like I was in the early stages of a migraine, all I wanted to do was set up my tent and try to turn myself off.

I found a nice spot right away and began setting up. With my tent canopy unfolded on the ground, I assembled my tent poles, which only takes about 30 seconds. While putting together my poles, though, a light wind began blowing. The wind made it difficult for me to pitch the tent canopy, so I grabbed a couple stakes and stuck them through two corners of the tent and into the loose sand.

A couple minutes later, with my poles fully assembled in conjunction with the canopy and just a couple more clips to attach, a strong gust of wind came along and instantly I was running as fast as I could, chasing my tent south through the desert alongside I-15, toward a reasonably busy east-west road. As my tent blew across the road, about a quarter of a mile from my camp site, I was thankful that there was a gap in traffic, but I still didn’t know if I would ever catch up to the tent, especially because there was not a gap in traffic when I reached the road.

By the time I had crossed the road (with my head still not working properly), my tent had come to a stop, thanks to a chainlink fence. So I grabbed the tent and began carrying it back north, into the now constant wind. It was like I was flying 50 kites without a string. I worried that my tent poles would snap with the strength of the wind, and I also worried that I would lose my grip on the poles, possibly resulting in another chase.

TO BE CONTINUED…

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Aimless
Aimless Video Evidence

Stuff

Yeah, right. Like that girl will ever call me. --> I just received a citation from a dickhead Montclair cop for "Solicit from freeway offramp." Interestingly, I was walking down a surface street when he saw me and 'pulled me over.' Guess who is not going to appear in a Montclair courtroom on January 14, 2009. It wasn't me on the off-ramp and I really don't care if they put a warrant out for my arrest; I'm not going to be here. I may write a letter to the court or something, but I won't be here. And right now I really don't care if I make it to Eloy by next Wednesday. Fact is, I'm not a criminal, which is why I've NEVER been arrested for ANYTHING. And when I'm not on the road like this, I don't deal with cops, so I really have no reason to fear any prospective arrest warrants. I'm sick of this shit.

We're all Jekyll and Hyde

Walking east on Colorado Boulevard in Pasadena this morning, looking for a bus stop, I passed a very immobile man in a wheelchair--the kind of wheelchair with a control stick. The man had a sign that said something to the effect of "Please donate to stem cell research." Even though I am very comfortable with money right now, I walked right on by the guy without giving him anything. I felt like a dick before I even passed him because I knew I should've slipped him at least a dollar. I mean, how do you think I got the money that's currently in my pocket?

As I bought a cup of coffee a few minutes ago at The Coffee Bean in Upland, I found some money on the floor. For a moment I thought about keeping it without saying anything to anyone, but I couldn't just hold on to it without asking everyone if they were missing any money. So I asked the two girls behind the counter if they were missing anything. Nope. Then I asked the one other customer inside. He said he didn't think he was missing any money, but he looked inside his wallet and asked me, "Was it a 20?" His question was an adequate answer, so I handed him the $20 bill I'd found.

How many of you anonymous critics would've given up that 20? Better yet: How many of you anonymous critics, while living functionally homeless, would've given up that 20? (I don't expect you to answer. You already know the answer.)

JJ the crazy Cajun guy from Des Allemands called me this afternoon for the first time in quite a while, but I couldn't answer right then. I called him back about half an hour later, but I got his voice mail. I had been wondering lately if I would ever hear from JJ again, so his timing was interesting.

One of the girls working at this Coffee Bean is absolutely beautiful. She has the kind of beauty most guys probably can't recognize (because most guys are stupid). I want to tell her how beautiful she is, just so she knows at least one person sees it, but I probably won't because I'll end up saying the stupidest, most ass-brained thing possible. And it won't be adorably ass-brained, like a Ben Stiller character; it will be stalker ass-brained because I seem to have some kind of selective Tourette Syndrome whenever I dare talk to girls that attract me. She hasn't even given me "a look" or anything like that, though, so it really doesn't matter anyway. (But if you see this and I'm wrong, I'd love to hear from you: 614-738-3867.)

Oh yeah, and I returned my backpack to REI yesterday because it just kept falling apart. I couldn't exchange it for the same model because it's impossible to find the Palisade 80 in Medium right now. Luckily they had one Whitney 95 in stock. It's a little bigger than the Palisade 80, and it also costs $30 more, but I found an unplanned way around that. Y'see, I also returned my fifth(?) Therm-A-Rest Prolite 4 "self-inflating" sleeping pad yesterday because it lasted about 4 nights before getting a small puncture. This time, though, I exchanged it for a heavier, bulkier, more durable, and cheaper model. So even though I had to pay an extra $30 for the new backpack, I gained an extra $38 or so from the sleeping pad exchange.

Interestingly, I met a homeless guy/tramp last night that has a Palisade 80. He said he also has had problems with the hipbelt breaking, which was my major issue. (It's gonna happen with my new one, too, because the design is flawed big-time.)

I'm thinking about making a sign that says something like: "I'll use your donation more responsibly than God does." I need to figure out how to say the same thing in fewer words, though.

Also, I topped 1,400 walking-miles for 2008 yesterday morning, shortly after departing my temporary home near the Rose Bowl.

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Aimless
Aimless Video Evidence

Film crews

I talked to quite a few people from the NCIS crew yesterday. Actually they initiated the conversations. One thing I've learned while watching film shoots around LA is that the people on the crews tend to be very cool and personable.

I'm seriously starting to consider moving to LA to try to get a job in the film industry. I don't even care what kind of job; I just think I'd like working in that environment, and I actually like LA a lot. If I happen upon any more sets while I'm around here, I may ask some of the crew members how to get a foot in the door for some kind of entry-level position.

At the NCIS shoot, unlike the other TV shoot I watched (Ghost Whisperer), all the main actors were on the set. The only name I know is Mark Harmon, but I recognized a very pretty actress and a young male actor, each of whom plays an NCIS agent.

I had never seen NCIS until recently, when I was stuck at a truck stop in Hell; I mean Arizona. If you didn't already know this, the TVs in truck stop driver lounges are almost always on either USA or TNT, which means Law & Order is almost always on. Lately, though, USA has been showing a lot of NCIS in the daytime. From what I've seen, anyway.

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Aimless
Aimless Video Evidence

NCIS

They're filming a scene from NCIS today in downtown Pasadena. After I watch a little of this, I'm going to treat myself to lunch at the Cheesecake Factory. A good meal like that is long overdue.

Excuse me... Colorado Boulevard.

Excuse me... Colorado Boulevard.

This is weird: The heart

This is weird: The heart of Pasadena (Colorado Avenue) actually feels A LOT like Manhattan, especially at night with reasonably cool weather.

No more Aimless

For anyone who hasn't figured this out yet: Um, I'm almost certainly done blogging and this Aimless thing is effectively over, even though I'll be on the road for at least a little while longer. I'm just tired, lonely, mega stressed out, a little cuckoo, and I don't care anymore. --> To Amanda from Flying J, if you're out there: I'd really like to hear from you ASAP (like as soon as you read this). Your smile makes me feel good and your eyes seem to have spoken nice things to me, which I'm probably all wrong about, only because I feel like I want it to be true. Anyway, I'd just like to talk to you. I walked five unnecessary miles tonight, just hoping you'd be around so I might be able to talk to you a little bit. Obviously things didn't go as I'd hoped. (For everyone else: This Flying J has a rent-a-cop who thinks he makes a difference by kicking out very good customers simply because
they carry large backpacks.) Call me, Amanda. A few people think I'm a really nice guy.