Tuesday, October 10, 2006

I could be wrong

Saturday morning I was shooting my veins full of college football pregame in anticipation of big upsets and another 1/13 of what will likely be an Ohio State national championship season when the doorbell rang. I wasn't expecting anyone and I didn't want to answer the door, but I temporarily removed the needle and opened the door anyway. It was the Jehovah's witnesses.

I had no interest in what they were selling and I really didn't want to deal with them, but I respectfully and patiently allowed them to pitch their product. After accepting their copies of The Watchtower and Awake!, I slid the needle back in and melted into the couch to feel the high of Herbstreit, Corso, and Fowler's football foreplay.

I sometimes wonder why these religious zealots feel so compelled to infect others with their unfortunate disease. I wonder why the more extreme religious zealots so badly wish to force their religions upon all Americans via unconstitutional laws. Do they not value the human capacity for individual thought? Have they ever experienced individual thought?

I wonder how the Jehovah's witnesses or the mormons (pronounced "mor-monns") would receive me if I knocked on their doors offering No God. Would they treat me with the same respect I showed them? What if I approached them in the name of No God and tried to convince them to believe the same things they already believe? Would they figure it out? (Hey, that sounds just like what I already believe; it just has a different name.)

Not that my beliefs in any way mirror those of any religious group, but with No God, anything is possible. More importantly, I don't feel the need to convert others to my way of seeing things because I do value the human capacity for individual thought and I recognize that I might be wrong. I don't think I'm wrong, and all evidence suggests I'm not wrong, but I concede that I may be wrong.

Why is that so difficult for you to do, every religion?

Here's a little advice for all you religious freaks who are optimistic and certain that the end of the world is coming soon: Kill yourselves now so the rest of us can start living in peace. And by "the rest of us," I mean religious and non-religious folks who know how to treat people like people.

Save my soul, for I am Aimless!

1 comment:

docrivs said...

Good story, Ryan!

I have a story I'll share: When I lived in the OSU campus area on I was visited by two Jeh...whatevers once... I acted in much the same way, acting cordial in letting them pitch their brand of monotheistic hooplah. At the time, I was a student, and I was studying Anthro-mo-pology. I was really into that whole evolution thing and the DNA. So, I thought I'd take a moment and let them "take me to the other side".

Then, I was going to let them have it.

I did sit there for a decent amount of time, listening, wondering if they really thought I was that stupid or if they were just really stupid themselves or if they were smart but were blinded by some kind of evil spell, going on and on about the "Garden" and "Hell" and "Our Lord"....

Then, when there was a lull... Ok, well, I listened to you, and I looked at your book. Now, lets talk about mine. I grabbed one of my textbooks and started trying to pick at them with such scientific stuff like the "Age Of The Universe" and the "Age Of The Earth" and "Dinosaur Fossils" not being in the same space as the "Human Fossils".

I felt that kind of schadenfreude that I was hoping for when they got up really quick and one of them said, "Well, if you're not really interested, then we'll be on our way."

The whole idea didn't seem to go as planned, though, because I felt like an asshole for setting them up like that. Ambushed by an Anthropology student.

Well, at least I learned that cleverness is not always appreciated.

Still, I'm not fond of door-to-door salespeople coming to my house, especially when they think they hold the power to "save" me from my "sins".

- docrivs (blog website