Arizona is for losers

This cactus and I feel the same about Arizona. --> Two nights ago, after walking 20 miles out of Gila Bend (through absolutely desolate desert), I found a great spot to sleep. I set up my tent and whatnot, but I also started my very first campfire. I thought I was in a good, invisible setting, but shortly a couple Maricopa County Sheriff's deputies showed up. One was mostly all right (Deputy Echeverry, or something like that), but the other one was an abusive prick. Long story short: They forced me to pack up and ride with them 20 miles back to Gila Bend. Then, and I didn't realize this until they were gone, Fuckface kept/stole my drivers' license. This was no accident. The guy has the personality of a serial killer, and keeping his victims' possessions gives him a hard-on. It's that simple. So when I get to the station tomorrow, I'm going to file a complaint (and a
theft charge if my license isn't there waiting for me). He's probably jerking off to it right now.